I knew the day was coming. We shut off the satellite today. We need to dig deeper to cut expenses and that is really all we had left. We are actually pretty excited because we will be saving the money each month now. I have my tower for the computer business hooked up to the big screen so we now just stream netflix and watch our weekly shows on hulu. We just have to wait an extra day to watch. We have actually been pretty fortunate to have things to either sell or shut down. This usually makes the difference we need it to. I the many years I have worked for Microsoft I have received many things from them. I have received free tablet pc's, free copies of just…

My wife has been through so much. I think it's important her story be heard.. She deserver's to have her story heard... To read more please visit her Blog .........Dear Nicholas, We've been apart nearly 10 years and there’s apparently still a piece of me that is afraid of you. I used to be so strong before you. My Granny taught me never to fall for a guy like you. I still don’t know how it happened. Well, that’s not entirely true. I thought I could save you. I thought I could save you from yourself. First, from the gang that didn’t exist in the end. Then from your parents because they didn’t understand you. Little did I know that they didn’t understand you because you were stoned all the…

One of the big things I struggle with daily is stress. I'm under so much stress each day that words cannot express the crushing weight I feel. My wife has fibromyalgia which was triggered and worsened by stress. Her quality of life is nonexistent. We never have a chance to just get away for a bit. We even have to take turns sleeping sometimes. We are not managing this stress very well. But to be honest this is not the typical stress most people feel each day. Nothing will ever be resolved. The kids will always be autistic and have special needs. So it's not like things will get better or there's a light at the end of the tunnel. That doesn't apply to special needs parents. I enjoy fixing…

Lizze and I are crumbling under the weight of everything. Emmett John (EJ) is becoming extremely difficult to manage. He screams and breaks things almost constantly it seems. He targets Elliott Richard (ER) and Lizze and physically assaults them. ER has scratches on his face and back and bumps on his head, all from EJ. Lizze's face is all scratched up from EJ clawing her for seemingly no reason at all. EJ is angry much of the time. At least it feels that way. There is no way to know for sure what he is feeling because he still doesn't talk. He will walk through the living room and throw or smash literally anything he can get his hands on. I think it's pretty obvious he's frustrated with life. We…

I am going to start sharing the songs that my autistic kids seem to find relaxing. Emmett John especially, seems to respond positively to music. So here is one of the songs he falls asleep to every night. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrpSjXo6ah0]

Times like these make me feel so alone. You are all aware that Emmett John fell down the steps. He has a broken nose, his face is bruised and he has bruising behind his ears. Well my parents stepped in at the drop of a hat to help out when I rushed him to the hospital. Thank you for being there for us and Emmett John. What saddens me is that not one person in my family besides my parents has even inquired as to how he's doing. Maybe my expectations are to high but I would think they would be concerned when there nephew was rushed to the hospital and shows signs of intracranial bleeding. It's these moments I realize how very alone we are. I wish family meant…

All parents want the best for their kids. When it comes to special needs kids that can be a very different and very difficult pill to swallow. In my life I have 2 specials needs autistic kids. For this topic I want to discuss Gavin as Emmett John is to young and there isn't enough known about his condition to make any guesses. We want Gavin to have the best possible life (this is why we have to push so hard). Every parent wants to go to sports events and graduations. They want grandkids and to see their child find happiness. I our case with Gavin we will most likely never see any of those things with him. However, we do want him to live up to his potential. He…

Today has been a really rough. We got Emmett John to see his pediatrician today to follow up. Turns out the hospital missed quite a bit. This is what we learned. His nose is broken but doesn't require surgery at this point. The biggest thing was the bruising behind his ears. I heard that and got sick to my stomach. That is a sign of intracranial bleeding. He said he is concerned about major internal head injury. Dr. H said on a scale of 1-10 he is worried at about a 6. Emmett John is doing fine after 24 hours so most likely all will be fine. We have to watch him closely over the next few days. If we notice anything at all he goes straight to the ER.…