Lizze and I are crumbling under the weight of everything. Emmett John (EJ) is becoming extremely difficult to manage. He screams and breaks things almost constantly it seems. He targets Elliott Richard (ER) and Lizze and physically assaults them. ER has scratches on his face and back and bumps on his head, all from EJ. Lizze's face is all scratched up from EJ clawing her for seemingly no reason at all. EJ is angry much of the time. At least it feels that way. There is no way to know for sure what he is feeling because he still doesn't talk. He will walk through the living room and throw or smash literally anything he can get his hands on. I think it's pretty obvious he's frustrated with life. We…

I am going to start sharing the songs that my autistic kids seem to find relaxing. Emmett John especially, seems to respond positively to music. So here is one of the songs he falls asleep to every night. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrpSjXo6ah0]

Times like these make me feel so alone. You are all aware that Emmett John fell down the steps. He has a broken nose, his face is bruised and he has bruising behind his ears. Well my parents stepped in at the drop of a hat to help out when I rushed him to the hospital. Thank you for being there for us and Emmett John. What saddens me is that not one person in my family besides my parents has even inquired as to how he's doing. Maybe my expectations are to high but I would think they would be concerned when there nephew was rushed to the hospital and shows signs of intracranial bleeding. It's these moments I realize how very alone we are. I wish family meant…

All parents want the best for their kids. When it comes to special needs kids that can be a very different and very difficult pill to swallow. In my life I have 2 specials needs autistic kids. For this topic I want to discuss Gavin as Emmett John is to young and there isn't enough known about his condition to make any guesses. We want Gavin to have the best possible life (this is why we have to push so hard). Every parent wants to go to sports events and graduations. They want grandkids and to see their child find happiness. I our case with Gavin we will most likely never see any of those things with him. However, we do want him to live up to his potential. He…

Today has been a really rough. We got Emmett John to see his pediatrician today to follow up. Turns out the hospital missed quite a bit. This is what we learned. His nose is broken but doesn't require surgery at this point. The biggest thing was the bruising behind his ears. I heard that and got sick to my stomach. That is a sign of intracranial bleeding. He said he is concerned about major internal head injury. Dr. H said on a scale of 1-10 he is worried at about a 6. Emmett John is doing fine after 24 hours so most likely all will be fine. We have to watch him closely over the next few days. If we notice anything at all he goes straight to the ER.…

About to get Gavin from school. Praying he had a good day and is in a good mood. I can't take any drama right now. I still don't feel good and I have had all I can take and it's only Tuesday.

Today is the anniversary of Lizze's Mother's death. Her grandmother was the only true Mother figure she ever had until she met my family. Her grandmother was a little southern woman but protected Lizze from all the insanity that was her childhood with the fierceness of a mamma bear. I only knew her for a short time before she passed but it didn't take long to see how much she absolutely loved Lizze with the kind of unconditional love only a mother could have. She is dearly missed but I know she is watching over us. She would be so proud of what Lizze has done with her life.

Today has been one of the worst days in our history of bad days. Lizze and I are both  sick. Lizze is in the middle of a really bad fibro flare. Gavin is still struggling with the simplest of tasks. So the day just didn't start out well. Around maybe 1:30pm I was upstairs cleaning up after cutting the lawn when I heard a huge thump and Lizze screaming for me. Emmett John had fallen down the entire flight of steps. He fell forward and then end over end. He was hysterical. He had smashed his face and nose into the un-carpeted stairs over and over again on his way down.  His face is pretty banged up. I was a medic for 10 years and I knew there was a…