This past few days has been very tough. The emotional expenses we have paid out were more then we had to give. There has been a great deal of uncertainty in our lives over the last decade and it has taken its toll. I want so badly to move forward but I just don't know how to. There are so many things that are up in the air right now with EJ, ER, Gavin and Lizze it seems impossible to just relax. I think that we need a change. I haven't figured out what that change is but I know we desperately need it. I really think we need a clean start, the kids need a clean start. I have been telling Lizze for years that sometimes I just want…

Roughly 9 years ago we first met. The moment I saw you I knew something was different. Everything was about to change. I couldn't put in to words what I was feeling.  I just found a song and it was like it was meant for us. It felt like I was re-living  those first weeks of our relationship. I vote this becomes our "song". We debate over what our "song" was back then but maybe we can just go with this one.  It say everything I didn't have the words for back then. Please know you are loved and cherished. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-BHVbjT2Y&feature=related] I love you.

I am so tired of the secrets and drama. Our lives are tough enough without you making things worse. Perhaps the best way to end this, is to simply air this. I will no longer keep your secrets. This is my response to Lizze's biological mother. Who injected herself into our lives of her own free will, only to cause us a tremendous amount of heartache and stress. She chose this path. Her email is in response to my post yesterday about Lizze's health. Her email is unedited I only removed the header to conceal her address.  ------------- Rob, For your information I gave Lizze all the medical information I had the first time she contacted me. My father was one of twelve. To the best of my knowledge, and…

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers. I'm very grateful for all of you. We keep all of you in ours as well. Goodnight LT

Gavin had a good day at school today. But he is once again complaining about tummy aches. The teachers don't pay much attention anymore because he has cried wolf so many times (so they don't feed into it per our request). If he's actually sick that's another story. Got Gavin into the car and started talking about the tummy aches. Did something upset you at school today? To which he answered "no". Then comes the question I hate to ask. "Gavin, have you been eating things that aren't food"? He said "no". I asked a few more times in different ways because that's what it takes sometimes to find out what he has eaten. ---Disclaimer-- The following items are things he has actually eaten.. - Not for those with a…

We just got out. Lizze has a cyst at the base of her brain but apparently its not something to worry about. She does have tremors. He said they were called "Familial Tremors". It also looks like she does have narcolepsy. She is scheduled for a sleep study soon. Both of these conditions are genetic and so they are passed down the family line even if not everybody has it. It would extremely helpful if her biological mother wasn't so unstable because we have NEVER gotten anything but lies from her. Medical information for Lizze and the kids is so vital and also a "luxury" we don't get to have. Lizze's doctor's have all said medical information would save them time and give them a direction to go in.. As…

We are in the waiting room waiting to get the results of Lizze's MRI from a few weeks back. We will hopefully find out about the migraines, the tremors and the neuropathy. This has been a really long wait. LT

Frustration, it goes along with autism. I'm quiet often frustrated with Gavin. We were getting ready to walk out the door to go to school this morning and I noticed something wrong with his pants. The whole back side of his pants was covered in tooth paste. How do you get tooth paste on the back of your pants. It turns out that he had gotten tooth paste on his hands and so he wiped it on his pants and even the back of his school shirt instead of using the towel that was right next to him. Little things like this are expected but exhausting. The other day Gavin was getting ready to take a shower. We have been having big issues with showering because he doesn't rinse his…