Today has been productive so far. I have gotten through several loads of laundry, sorted and folded. Lizze got Gavin off to school this morning. Her knee is really bothering her today so I want her to take it easy. She is napping with the baby right now. ER and I just split an orange and are going through more laundry and just hanging out before lunch. 4 more days of school left and that's it for the summer. Going to try to get as much done while I have this strange amount of energy and motivation. LT Thank you for sharing our lives. LT

School is out in 4 or 5 days and the truth is I'm scared. I don't know for sure what the summer agenda is. As much as we love Gavin, and we do, we can only take so much Gavin at a time. My mother is a saint, you can ask anyone who knows her. She loved summer break and snow days. She loved having all 6 of us home at once. However, she didn't have autism to contend with and we do, possibly x3. My mother had endless energy and motivation and we have neither. I had a relatively safe neighborhood to grow up in and lots of nice kids to play with. We have the "relatively" safe neighborhood, save for a few ignorants who call my special needs…

Today has been a rough one. Gavin got off to school on a bad note. I was up all night again with ER. EJ few off the couch several times today and has a bruise running up and down the left side of his face. We can't sem to stay ahead of him no matter how hard we try, and believe me we do. As you are aware we have had some family drama which has impacted us in a negative way. We have begun to rise above this and I plan on leaving this behind me now. We have more worthy things to spend our precious little amounts of energy on. Gavin had a good day at school but a really rough time once home. He just doesn't listen…

Monday is almost over. Gavin wasn't feeling well last night do he stayed home. He didn't have any meltdowns but was in manipulation mode all day. He was driving me crazy. I know some of you out there understand what I'm talking about. I was just constant, this or that. It just wore on me, especially since I didn't get to go to bed till 6am this morning. ER is having nightmares almost every night now. He says something about Zombies and that's all I can get from him. They only thing I can think of with Zombies is that insanely addictive game "Plants vs Zombies". There isn't anything scary in the game and we haven't played it in months. There was a Garfield movie on Netflix the other day…

It's now 4am and I have Elliott Richard on the couch in the living room. He keeps having nightmares. He's exhausted as am I but is not able to go back to sleep. This is all probably anxiety related. It's going to be a long day. :) LT

It's 1:30am and Elliott Richard has already been up twice. Everytime I close my eyes he's crying. It's going to be a long night again. ;) LT

This past few days has been very tough. The emotional expenses we have paid out were more then we had to give. There has been a great deal of uncertainty in our lives over the last decade and it has taken its toll. I want so badly to move forward but I just don't know how to. There are so many things that are up in the air right now with EJ, ER, Gavin and Lizze it seems impossible to just relax. I think that we need a change. I haven't figured out what that change is but I know we desperately need it. I really think we need a clean start, the kids need a clean start. I have been telling Lizze for years that sometimes I just want…

Roughly 9 years ago we first met. The moment I saw you I knew something was different. Everything was about to change. I couldn't put in to words what I was feeling.  I just found a song and it was like it was meant for us. It felt like I was re-living  those first weeks of our relationship. I vote this becomes our "song". We debate over what our "song" was back then but maybe we can just go with this one.  It say everything I didn't have the words for back then. Please know you are loved and cherished. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-BHVbjT2Y&feature=related] I love you.