Emmett woke up at about 5am and just screamed and screamed. I filled his sippy and that didn't help. He screamed until about 6:30 am at which point he just stopped. Elliott got up about 7:15am and Gavin is still sleeping at this time. I'm not feeling good. My stomach is upset and I just feel miserable. I am so tired, it's been a few days since I have had any real rest. Honestly, I don't remember the last time I slept through the night. It's probably been a few years. I have to go to the post office today to mail a battery to the guy that bought my phone on ebay. The one I sent him didn't work (must have shorted out). I tried to do that yesterday…

Tomorrow will be the first day with out Lizze here. Nothing is going to slow down just cause I'm alone. To Do: Laundry Post Office Dishes Sprint I can't keep my eyes open..... Night Posted from WordPress for Android

Please help me get my family together. Please help Lizze to get better. Help me to become stronger then I am so I can be a good parent to my kids. Help me to survive...... Posted from WordPress for Android

I have been sitting here trying to distract myself from the idea of going to bed and not having Lizze there next to me. Last night I suggested to Lizze that maybe this would be good for her. I wan't trying to push her out but I need her to get better. And to be completely honest what she is experiencing is very destabilizing and very, very fine balance we have been trying to maintain. I don't think it was good or even healthy for any of us to continue down that road. This isn't going to be easy but I don't see any other option. Lizze was not going to survive if she continued to be subjected to the extreme levels of stress. I honestly don't know how she…

After a lot of talk we decided that Lizze was going to go live with her parents for a little while. I want to be very clear that we are not having problems. It's simply a matter of her survival. She is not doing well and the stress is literally causing her body to turn on itself. I fucking hate this but I don't know what else we can do. She is in so much pain all the time and the stress of everything is making it untreatable. Stress is the worst thing in the world for a person living with fibro. The kids were picking up on Lizze's stress and it was creating more chaos for them. She has given so freely of herself for so long that she…

Emmett finally starts speech therapy next week. This is long overdue and desperately needed...

Psychotic simply means losing touch with reality. We all see things on TV about psychotic people but in our "real life" dealings with psychosis this is largely what we find. This is a brief video of a conversation I had with Gavin before Emmett interrupted. It's really easy to say this is just his imagination but it goes so far beyond that. He truly doesn't know that these things are not real. He says the words "imagination" or "imaginary friends" because he knows that what everyone wants to hear. Again this is just a small very short example of what we are dealing with. I want to address any common misconceptions about psychosis. Psychotic people don't always go out and kill or hurt people like we see on TV. In many cases they…

We have come to a point where the stress is so high in this house that I'm concerned Lizze can't get better here. Stress is a huge problem with fibro patients. It appears that everyone is effecting everyone else. I need to break the cycle of none of us will survive.. Lizze is clearly at her breaking point. She has far to much on here plate. She needs to worry about getting back on her feet and living in this house makes that impossible, especially with Emmett. We dicussed it and she might try to go stay with family at least until after her surgery. This isn't ideal by any stretch of the word but we need her to get well and that won't happen with everything going here. Plus…