I have no patience especially with Gavin. He won't pull himself away from what he is doing to go to the bathroom. He waits until the WORST time possible to decide he needs to go. It's just a choice he makes. I don't think there is anything really behind it. Just drives me crazy. I'm really starting to get nervous about this week. I just hope I'm strong enough to pull this off and survive. Posted via midNIGHT powered Epic 4G by lost and tired

As we get closer to to next Wednesday I am starting to feel the pressure building up. This is not going to be easy to get through. I'm worried about a number for things. I'm worried about the procedure itself and everything going well. I'm worried about the recovery period and risk of blood clotts. I'm worried about the impact this will have on her fibromyalgia. I'm worried about how I'm going to cover the cost with things already so tight. I worry about the impact this will have on our VERY FRAGILE "balance". I may act like I'm ok with this but the truth is I'm really scared. I'm afraid of something going wrong or that she will be worse off after all is said and done. I want…

Akron Children's just called and they want a sleep study done on Emmett. This may help determine what's happening at night. I have to call and schedule this for as soon as possible. With Lizze's surgery that is going to make this really tough to accomplish. It may have to wait a few weeks. It just won't be easily done until Lizze is back on her feet. We also got another call from Akron and we got back into the "Triple P Parenting" program. We will actually be working directly with the Doctor who created the program. Next week is going to be impossibly busy. Posted Via WordPress Android. Powered by Epic 4G & MIDNIGHT ROM

we are on snow day #3 and I am ready to just fall over and all it quits. The reality is that snow days happen but for families like mine they have amuch bigger impact. I love having the kids home but enough is enough already. The kids are at eachothers throats and Lizze and I got no sleep again because of whatever is going on with Emmett. We have 6 days to be ready for surgery and the following weeks. There are things I simply need to have done in order to be to be able to do this on my own. Laundry needs caught up as well as the kitchen. I need to make sure the house is in decent shape so I can focus on other things.…

Most people take the little things for granted. When you have child with Autism you don't have that luxury. Emmett John has been screaming all night because he is stuffy. Emmett experiences sensory overload when he is stuffy. He panics because it becomes harder to breathe through his nose. Many people would be able to just give their child something to help with the congestion and help them back to sleep. In our case if "Emmett don't sleep don't nobody sleep". For a child with Autism and severe sensory issues things like this are so completely overwhelming they don't know what to do. Even after the medicine kicks in to dry him out it's to little to late. The damage has already been done. Once he is on sensory overload…

Today has been very trying. Gavin is driving me completely batty. I can't take a whole lot more of him. He literally has the memory of a gold fish. Maybe that's mean to say but it's the best way to describe it. A gold fish only remembers the last few seconds. So each time it swims to the other side of the bowl it's a new experience. However, with Gavin it seems to be selective. He can remember "important" things like legos and star wars but not the basic rules that have been in place for a very long time. I find myself constantly repeating myself to him. I also have the serenity prayer embedded in my brain because I say it constantly. Emmett is just more the a handfull.…

Gavin (even back on the anti-psychotics) continues to self injure. He slammed his wrist onto something last night while he was angry. I didn't notice this till today. He's pretty lucky he didn't go any deeper. Posted Via WordPress Android. Powered by Epic 4G & MIDNIGHT ROM

I regret to inform you that as of 12am this morning the bouncy house is no longer with us. I was running around last night charging batteries and gathering blankets when I noticed. She just didn't look the same. Even from a distance I knew something was wrong. She was all slumped over in the corner. My instincts kicked in and tried to resuscitate her with mouth to mouth. Despite my best efforts it wasn't enough. I quickly moved to the already charged (so as not to awaken the kids) air compressor because I knew time was of the essence. She responded and  thought we were in the clear but then I heard the sound no one wants to ever hear coming from a bouncy house, whoosh. It was a fruitless effort. Sure…