I'm trying so hard to be patient but it's getting more and more difficult... Gavin is REALLY struggling and God forgive my, he's going to push me over the edge. I'm really starting to feel the preasure and I don't know how much more I can take.... Tonight Gavin had oatmeal for dinner because eariler he was causing problems with Elliott. The only rule he has with eating the oatmeal is he has to eat politely and safely. Tonight he didn't do that. He was shoving the oatmeal in his mouth to the point where he gags. We corrected him once and the following time he was told he would have oatmeal again in the morning. He didn't like that so the meltdown ensued..... We have to hold him…

I have hopes of encouraging you all to take better care of yourselves and get "Fit 4 Autism". I will post my daily efforts of getting into better shape...... This is a sat image of my path tracked via Endomondo Pro...... Here are some pictures of the view along the way :)   For more information about Endomondo and joining the "Fit 4 Autism" cause visit my "Fit 4 Autism" page..... You can also view the "Fit 4 Autism" team here..

There are moments that I am just so angry with the cards my family has been dealt. Why do we deserve this? We're good people, not perfect but good. My kids never did anything to anyone. Why are we so unlucky? Why do my wife and kids have to suffer? I look back and wonder what we did so wrong that we deserve this. My wife survived a very abusive ex husband and 10 years in court protecting Gavin from that same abuse and worse (you can use you're imagination there and you wouldn't be far off) . We eventually won but at what cost? Lizze's health is a complete disaster and we all know about Gavin's quality of life. We went backrupt and still owe over $25,000 in legal…

Emmett will be back at the doctors in the morning. He has been screaming ALL night so far. He's cracked Lizze square in the face about 3 times so far. This has to stop....

With Gavin going downhill again we have to begin planning for a hospital stay. I can see this trip happening in the next 30 days (unless the new meds help). We have to make arrangements for the kids and have them in place in the event this happens. The past few times he was in the hospital it happened without much warning. That is to say we hadn't really planned for it and it had a huge impact on us emotionally, physically and finacially. I'm not sure if it would be Akron or Cleveland because ALL his neuro specialists are in the Cleveland Clinic. It would probably depend on who had room and/or if the movements come back due to the new medications. That's another concern I forgot to mention.…

It's been almost 6 monthes since I had to give up walking and running. I have finally decided that I just HAVE to get back on track (no pun intended). My back pain is worse then it ever has been and I've put the weight I worked so hard to lose right back on. So this day #4 of walking. I'm going to try to maintain AT LEAST 1.5 miles a day. As I go forward I'll work my way back up to 5 or 6 miles a day. I just need to be careful not to do to much to fast so I don't make anything worse. I'm also going to do back on my whole food diet. I hate veggies but I can do them in a smoothie…

Elliott is having a rough night. His cough is really bad. I finally got him to take is cough medicine but don't know if it will help. I also have the cool mist going in his room as well. Hopefully he can get some sleep.....

Today has been really stressful for me. I knew Gavin wasn't  doing well but it's another thing to hear confirmation of your fears. I really don't know what we are supposed to be doing anymore because nothing helps. Elliott has pneumonia and so we have to stay on him to keep him resting so it doesn't get any worse. The last thing we need is for him to be in the hospital. He had pneumonia one other time and it almost killed him. This was when he was in the NICU for a few weeks after he was born. He recovered from the bilateral pneumo's but it was the pneumonia that really got him. Knowing he has it again is not an easy pill to swollow... I know it's different…