Edit: I posted this last night but it just showed up now.... Lizze and I were up with Elliott most of last night and then up at 6am with Emmett. Elliott and Gavin were both home today due to illness. Elliott went to Dr.H and his lungs are clear but he has an ear infection. I took Gavin and Elliott to therapy tonight. Dr. Patti and I spoke in another room while the boys were playing. I sat there and just sobbed. I'm so overwhelmed, tired, frustrated and scared. Everything is just completely falling apart and no one gets that. You know your life is really screwed up when you make the doctors cry.... I got the boys home and Lizze and Emmett were already in bed at 7:30pm. I…

I just spent the last 20 minutes literally fighting Elliott to get dressed. He has to go back to the doctors because he sounds like he is getting sick again.  Elliott was hysterical,screaming and sobbing. WTF am I supposed to do. Elliott is struggling more and more. I know he plays his DS a lot, too much really. That alone doesn't account for this. I don't know if it's all Gavin but I do know his behavior plays a MAJOR role. Especially when it comes to Elliott's anxiety and self injury. This is getting to the point were we HAVE to do something or this family WILL fail. We see Dr.Patti tonight and we will have to have SERIOUS talk about what our options are.

Elliott is still up at 2am coughing up a lung. I think he went back to school to soon... We got his cough meds in him and the cool mist humidifier going.. Lizze is sitting with since I have gone so long without sleep. We called him and Gavin off of school. We don't know why Gavin puked but he did twice. Emmett will be the only one in school today.... This week just keeps getting better.....

Aside from the ALL the usual weekly appointments we have some MAJOR testing for Emmett this week. Tuesday: School for all three kids (Over 100 miles in driving). Elliott see's Dr. H and then see's Dr. Patti... Wednesday: we are back up to Cleveland. This time to Case Western for another ADOS as part of a study in a new early intervention technique. Elliott and Gavin have school. Gavin see's Dr. H..... Thursday: Emmett undergoes a sleep study on Thursday night through Friday morning. We have to have Gavin and Elliott spend the night somewhere in order to get to school on Friday morning. They are looking identify the issues with Emmett not sleeping. All three boys go to school. Friday: Emmett is still in Akron for the sleep study.…

Elliott won't go to sleep. Emmett is fussy and Gavin just came downstairs to tell us he just "puked". My first question to him was what did you eat that wasn't food. Gavin has a long history of PICA so we have to also assume that's what happened until we know otherwise. I don't know if he made himself puke or not. He also has a LONG history of that as well. All I know for sure is that this night is going to drag on FOREVER. Be glad your not me right now.......

Gavin has been challenging for most of his life. If you read back far enough you will see that we have tried to shield the other kids as much as possible from his behaviors. There have been times we considered placement in order to ensure the best interests of Elliott and more recently Emmett. Things did improve eventually. Today we find ourselves in that same place again. As I have shared many times here, Gavin likes to self-injure. Every time he is questioned about something or makes a mistake he hits himself. We have very aggressively tried to quash this because we COULD NOT ALLOW this spread to the other boys. Well despite our best efforts it has spread. Elliott has now begun (for about a week or so now)…

Todays Fit 4 Autism efforts were about 2.5 miles... My goal is to be back up to 6+ miles a day by the end of spring.             Click the above image for details...     For more information about Endomondo and joining the "Fit 4 Autism" cause visit my "Fit 4 Autism" page..... You can also view the "Fit 4 Autism" team here  

He used to draw pictures of our house on fire with Lizze and I burning alive. Gavin was about 5 or 6 years old at the time. When he was finally put on anti-psychotics those things sort of just went away. Do you know what that feels like to fear your child because I do.