Elliott won't go to sleep. Emmett is fussy and Gavin just came downstairs to tell us he just "puked". My first question to him was what did you eat that wasn't food. Gavin has a long history of PICA so we have to also assume that's what happened until we know otherwise. I don't know if he made himself puke or not. He also has a LONG history of that as well. All I know for sure is that this night is going to drag on FOREVER. Be glad your not me right now.......

Gavin has been challenging for most of his life. If you read back far enough you will see that we have tried to shield the other kids as much as possible from his behaviors. There have been times we considered placement in order to ensure the best interests of Elliott and more recently Emmett. Things did improve eventually. Today we find ourselves in that same place again. As I have shared many times here, Gavin likes to self-injure. Every time he is questioned about something or makes a mistake he hits himself. We have very aggressively tried to quash this because we COULD NOT ALLOW this spread to the other boys. Well despite our best efforts it has spread. Elliott has now begun (for about a week or so now)…

Todays Fit 4 Autism efforts were about 2.5 miles... My goal is to be back up to 6+ miles a day by the end of spring.             Click the above image for details...     For more information about Endomondo and joining the "Fit 4 Autism" cause visit my "Fit 4 Autism" page..... You can also view the "Fit 4 Autism" team here  

He used to draw pictures of our house on fire with Lizze and I burning alive. Gavin was about 5 or 6 years old at the time. When he was finally put on anti-psychotics those things sort of just went away. Do you know what that feels like to fear your child because I do.

  I'm trying so hard to be patient but it's getting more and more difficult... Gavin is REALLY struggling and God forgive my, he's going to push me over the edge. I'm really starting to feel the preasure and I don't know how much more I can take.... Tonight Gavin had oatmeal for dinner because eariler he was causing problems with Elliott. The only rule he has with eating the oatmeal is he has to eat politely and safely. Tonight he didn't do that. He was shoving the oatmeal in his mouth to the point where he gags. We corrected him once and the following time he was told he would have oatmeal again in the morning. He didn't like that so the meltdown ensued..... We have to hold him…

I have hopes of encouraging you all to take better care of yourselves and get "Fit 4 Autism". I will post my daily efforts of getting into better shape...... This is a sat image of my path tracked via Endomondo Pro...... Here are some pictures of the view along the way :)   For more information about Endomondo and joining the "Fit 4 Autism" cause visit my "Fit 4 Autism" page..... You can also view the "Fit 4 Autism" team here..

There are moments that I am just so angry with the cards my family has been dealt. Why do we deserve this? We're good people, not perfect but good. My kids never did anything to anyone. Why are we so unlucky? Why do my wife and kids have to suffer? I look back and wonder what we did so wrong that we deserve this. My wife survived a very abusive ex husband and 10 years in court protecting Gavin from that same abuse and worse (you can use you're imagination there and you wouldn't be far off) . We eventually won but at what cost? Lizze's health is a complete disaster and we all know about Gavin's quality of life. We went backrupt and still owe over $25,000 in legal…

Emmett will be back at the doctors in the morning. He has been screaming ALL night so far. He's cracked Lizze square in the face about 3 times so far. This has to stop....