I actually slept well last night

I took some ZzzQuil and went to bed at about 11 PM last night. I was so desperate to sleep and get my sleep back on track. It took me a while to fall asleep, but I did, and I was up before 7:30 AM to go walking. 😉 People were lighting off fireworks behind our house until pretty late, and that was super annoying. It also kept the boys from falling asleep, and that is a big problem. This will be a struggle for the next few days cause fireworks will continue to be fired off. My walk went well, and I'm now hanging out with my Mom for a little while because she's still recovering from recent knee replacement surgery. We don't really have anything else planned for…

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We’re getting concerned about our oldest son

We're noticing some concerning/weird things coming from Gavin. In a nutshell, he's using incorrect words when speaking, cursing, seriously struggling with following direction, as well as with his already limited problem-solving skills. We'll take these one at a time. When Gavin is speaking to us, he is using incorrect words for what he's trying to say. The issue is that this mismatched wordage actually changes the meaning of what he's saying. As an example, Gavin will come up to me and tell me something like, hey Dad; I didn't collect the recycling. I'll repeat it back to him to make sure I heard him correctly, and he confirms I didn't collect the recycling. The keyword here is didn't. What he's trying to tell me is that he did collect the…

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I crawled out of bed after 3 hours of sleep

After about three hours or so of restless sleep, I crawled out of bed and hit the track. I missed yesterday, and if I wanted to get this done, it had to be early because it's going to be another unbearably hot and humid day. I got home from walking and picked up Gavin because he needs his weekly blood work done. We've been having a hell of a time getting his Clozapine refilled cause the fucking lab never sends the results like they are supposed to. Everything keeps getting pushed back as a result, and it's really frustrating. Gavin has enough medication to get through the weekend, so they have three days to get this right. 😡 Anyway, I'm going to take it easy today and focus on getting…

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The house shook and the windows rattled

I'm going to make this quick because we're currently binging Stranger Things 3 and it's very late. We made the best of our day today and ended up having our bonfire. It went well, and the kids had a great evening. The neighborhood was pretty quiet this afternoon, and we felt it was safe enough to spend some time outside. 😀 One of the goals was to burn through some of the cut up tree that was left from the storm damage last year. We cooked hotdogs, sausage, and smores before we retreated into the air conditioning. It was crazy hot and insanely humid. The kids went to bed on time, but that didn't last long because the same idiots who blew out my neighbors windows last year with their…

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I’m determined not let #depression control my life

I'm holding it together pretty well today. I'm currently sleep deprived, exhausted, depressed, overwhelmed, and anxious, but I'm holding my own. 😊 I think that I need to keep myself busy and avoid dead time. When I have unoccupied time on my hands, my thoughts can wander, and I begin to focus on the things that are causing me the most stress. Most of these things are well outside of my control, so fretting about them serves no purpose. I've already been to the grocery store today and spent more than I wanted to, but we got to eat. The rest of the afternoon will be relatively quiet, and I'm going to try and knock out two projects that I need to finish up. I know I'll feel much better…

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Making the best of today

I have such a hard time sleeping at night lately. My brain is running continually trying to solve the problems in my life, and I can't seem to shut down. That's definitely a problem, but it's workable and could worse. I was too tired to go walking this morning, and while it's important to push myself, it's also important I don't push myself too far. Today I'm going to focus on grocery shopping and finishing up two projects that should really be done by today. I'm so far behind on this stuff, and I need to get out from underneath the pile-up. The plan for today is to hit the grocery store, spend as little as possible to get everything we need, and assuming the weather holds out, light a…

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