My first night without the kids was pretty rough. I'm almost never away from them and having the house completely devoid of even their fighting is unsettling. I miss them doing the things that drive me crazy. Is that weird? I had zero plans for the evening. I had a pizza in the freezer and Netflix on TV. It's weird because I've lost all interest in watching anything that I used to watch before my life turned upside-down. I have a DVR full of shows that I want nothing to do with anymore. Maybe that's normal, considering. Anyway, before my evening could even get started, I got a call that my sister needed help and I spent most of the evening helping her. I didn't get home until after 10PM…

Today is a really going to be difficult for me because the kids have their first visit with their mom since she moved out. Actually, they already left for their first visit. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that they can visit her because it's so important to have both parents in their lives. I truly, firmly believe that. At the very same time, I'm sitting in an empty, broken home and needing to stop my brain from trying to figure out what the fuck is happening. It sucks and I really wish things were different. I'm going to use the time to get some things done around the house and try to keep busy. The more I do that, the less time I have to think about my…

Last night, we sat down with the boys and their therapist to tell them what was going on. They already knew that mommy had moved out but they hadn't heard from her what was going on or been able to ask questions. Doing this in the presence of their therapist made sure that they had all the support they needed. All things considered, it went well. The kids are kind of a mixed bag at the moment. It's still very new to them and it's really important that we get visits started ASAP. They're going to spend the night tomorrow and as far as I know, they're all excited about it. That's a good thing. 😊 We had a decent day today and I'm grateful for that. I kept pretty…

I know I'm so far behind and I'm not keeping up with this blog. It's never my intention to back away because it's an important part of helping me manage the stress in my life. Since the beginning, writing about our life, specifically from my perspective, has been therapeutic for me. I was able to write what I was feeling and then walk away, without having to carry the weight anymore. It's been largely successful and I'm so grateful that it also helps provide comfort to other families going through similar situations. There's a great deal going on in my life right now and writing is becoming more difficult for me on a number of levels. I'm trying to force myself to get back into the habit of writing a…