My thoughts Archives - Page 122 of 1480

Trying to get the boys ready for school tomorrow is a bit overwhelming

We have a busy day today. School starts in the morning and we still have a few things that need done. The boys still need new lunch boxes and they definitely need haircuts. Neither of them like getting haircuts but they don't have a choice. They cooperate once they're in the chair but they get ichy after and that's pretty intense for them. We have Pattie this afternoon, where Elliott and Gavin are going to have some one on one time with Pattie. Emmett had his time last night. We're trying to make sure that the boys remember that they have a safe place to open up. It also helps ensure that we know how the boys are handing everything. Afterwards, we might be going to orientation. We were going…

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August 21, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

I can’t change what happened but I can adapt and overcome

Divorce is never easy and there are always unforeseen consequences. The goal is to limit those consequences, and shield the kids from as many grownup issues as humanly possible. It's only been a week since my wife left and I'm already facing challenges that are very limiting by nature. One of the biggest things that have come up that impacts me directly is that I can never go anywhere alone. Until about two weeks ago, I was walking every single day. I was able to sneak away for an hour and exercise, because the kids were at home with their Mom. I never was gone for extended periods of time because that can be very challenging for anyone to deal with, especially someone with all the health issues she is…

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August 21, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

Why I’m seeking help from a therapist

Today at 1pm I will be starting my second therapy session with my new therapist. The first session was literally the morning after my wife left and not much was accomplished aside from me unloading everything that I was feeling. I think I caught my counselor off guard. I feel like this therapist might be a good fit for me personally and that's important. I was such a hot mess last week that I didn't even get the paperwork filled out. She asked why I was there and the floodgates opened and she went with it. I really appreciated that. She suggested that we finish the paperwork next time. I feel like I'm in a better place today because I've had a week to begin wrapping my brain around all…

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August 20, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

It’s been 1 week since my marriage ended and here’s how we’re doing

Today marks one week since our lives changed forever and things haven't been easy for us. When something as impactful as a parent moving out happens, there's a ripple effect. I think considering everything that's going on, the kids are doing okay. They're each dealing in their own way and the only one who's not phased either way is Gavin. Emmett is struggling, as is Elliott. They do so in different ways. Emmett won't sleep in his bed right now and glues himself to me at night. I've told him that we need to work on getting him back in his own bed but if for right now he needs this, it's absolutely okay. Elliott just kinda shuts down and pretends like everything is okay. It's pretty obvious that he's…

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August 20, 2019

My thoughts

Better late than never I suppose

The boys and I had a pretty decent day yesterday. There were ups and downs but all things considered, I'm tossing it into the win column. I meant to update everyone last night but I was exhausted and didn't get around to it. My main focus for today is to get Gavin's labs done and his Clozapine refilled. It's been a nightmare trying to get his Clozapine refilled over the last few months. The lab never faxes the results like they are supposed to and the pharmacy doesn't seek then out until I call about his script. It's not their fault. They're at the mercy of the lab. It's just incredibly frustrating. Aside from his labs that need done, he will also need his IVIG Infusion done today as well.…

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August 19, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

Trying desperately to not let their summer be defined by the collapse of my marriage

As the summer winds to a close, it was very important to me that the last major experience the kids had before school starting, wasn't their lives being turned upside down when their Mom left. Emmett has been really stressed out in particular because he's convinced that he will have to write twelve sentences about his summer and he didn't want to have to talk about what happened. While I seriously doubt anyone would make him talk about what happened in front of his class, I understood where he was coming from and so did my parents. Lizze and I had been planning to take them to the Great Lakes Science Center before school started and that was still the plan, only less one person. My Mom and Dad decided…

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August 18, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

I’m hoping this short trip helps us get our footing

We're on our way to Cook Forest State Park. We'll probably arrive around 11 AM and the boys are really excited. I'm not feeling so well this morning. It's not that I'm sick, I'm just heartbroken. The truth at its most fundamental level is that I miss my wife. This is really hard for me because I have to be strong for the kids but at the same time, I've also lost my best friend. I don't really know what to do anymore. Every part of me is grieving and it's sometime hard to hold it together. In a way, I feel like it's good for the kids to see me grieving at times because it's a reminder that they aren't alone. This is devastating for all four of us.…

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August 17, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

The boys first official visit went well and we have big plans for tomorrow

The boys had their first official visit since the split and I think it went really well, at least it sounds like it did. That's fantastic as far as I'm concerned because I want as little to change for them as possible. I was a bit nervous because it's a big change for them but it sounds like they did great. 😊❤️ They got home around 2:30 PM and we had a pretty quiet afternoon. My sister had invited us over for dinner but I didn't want to overwhelm the kids. They had just arrived home and I thought it best to play things low-key. In the morning, my Dad and I are taking the kids to visit Cook Forest State Park in Clarion Pennsylvania for the day. It's about…

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August 16, 2019