It could absolutely be worse

It's been a difficult year for my family. We lost two beloved family members and have faced some recent changes in our lives that have been very painful. Everyone is coping in their own way and healing in their own time. In Gavin's case, his condition has been to his advantage. He just accepts whatever he's told and therefore he's actually in a pretty good place. That's definitely a blessing. Anyway, the whole point of this is that there are a million reasons to be miserable right now. Truthfully, there are times that I am and I think that's to be expected. At the same time, I never want to lose focus of the positive because it's a slippery slope. As I'm sitting here, I'm paying attention to the positive…

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When you’re a #specialneeds parent, these things will happen

Today has not gone as planned. I needed to get the kids to school, go walking and be done in time to do an interview for next week's episode. I was supposed to speak with Annette Hines, author of the best selling book, Butterflies and Second Chances: A Mom’s Memoir of Love and Loss. I had everything setup for my 11 AM interview and literally at 10:59 AM, the phone rang and it was the school telling me that Elliott was sick. I was a little flustered because I hate canceling anything, let alone at the last minute. Annette was so kind and understanding. I totally appreciate that. Being a special needs parent means that thing will come up at the last minute and there's nothing that can be done…

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Despite the heartache, I’m grateful for this one thing

It's been a long morning so far. Elliott and Emmett weren't moving very fast today. We did however, make it to school, albeit a little late. Truthfully, they weren't really late, just later than we aim for. They're going to hang out with their mom and grandma this afternoon for a couple hours, so I'll have a brief reprieve. I've said this before but I will say it many more times going forward. It doesn't matter what happened between their mother and I. That's a grownup situation. My personal feelings can't play a roll in deciding what's best for the kids. I think it's great that the kids get to see their mom. Frankly, I would be upset if they couldn't. Ideally, kids should have access to both parents and…

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I lost my cool tonight

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually feeling good-ish about myself. Selfcare is a priority again, even if it's not perfect, I'm doing my best to work with what I got. Today was a pretty decent day. The kids drove me crazy, but that's par for the course. ☺ Everything actually went mostly okay. I even got my recording equipment almost working. When the cables arrive today, I should be good to go. Hopefully it will be in time for my interview today but if not, I'll manage. The meeting tonight with Lizze, her mom and the kids therapist was actually fairly productive. At the very end, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and I unloaded. While I will not apologize for how…

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It’s been a frustrating couple of days but……

It's been a frustrating couple of days but also kinda exciting. The kids are beginning to stay afloat for the most part and while school seems to be going better-ish, Elliott's not sleeping and Emmett is very much struggling with impulse control, like a lot. It's probably an ADHD and anxiety combo but it's proving difficult to manage. At least he's doing well at school. I'd rather have issues at home than at school. We had a very emotional therapy session last night and I meet with Lizze, Pattie and my amazing (and I mean that) mother in law tonight to hash some things out. Hopefully, this will prove a positive thing and everyone benefits from it, especially the kids. ☺ As for the exciting part of things, the boys…

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Fingers crossed

Not sure how today is going to go. The boys are moving very slowly and Emmett's saying that he doesn't feel well. I've got lunches made and the car warming up but I don't know what's going on just yet. Emotionally the boys seem to be doing a little bit better or so I thought. Truthfully, very much like me, they're going to have good days and bad days. I'm hoping that we're still a go for school today. I have therapy myself this afternoon and if any of the kids are home from school, I'll have to reschedule. Fingers crossed...

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I finally feel like I’ve put some checks in the win column

We've had a pretty good day. There have been some challenges but we made it through. I wanted to share a couple highlights from today before I go to bed. First of all, I was able to set up a temporary area in my bedroom, where I can record podcast episodes and interview guests remotely. The equipment is relatively basic but the recording quality will be increasing significantly moving forward. Also, I thought it would be cool to help my kids find their own voice and create regular or semi-regular episodes with each of my kids. All have expressed interest but Emmett is all in. Today he was practicing using the equipment and figuring out his voice. My thought is to create shorter, weekly episodes with my kids, on a…

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It’s scary, frustrating, overwhelming, and also necessary

I mentioned in recent post that I was overwhelmed. If you've been reading for any length of time, that shouldn't be breaking news. I'm overwhelmed and frustrated for a million different reasons. I thought I would expand upon that some and help you better understand where I'm coming from. I know there will be people out there who totally get and some that don't. That's okay. For the life of me, I can't get the house caught up. By the time I'm in a position to get anything done I'm too exhausted to do anything. I'm crashing by 10 PM on most nights. There are so many things that need to get done but I'm either lacking the time, energy or resources to get them done. I want to do…

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