It may not be pretty or graceful but we will survive

Life is a never-ending series of tests and I'm currently being tested. As an Autism and Special Needs parent, I'm no stranger to challenge and have become accustomed to the daily struggle that many Autism and Special Needs parents face. Being accustomed to something shouldn't be confused with becoming easier. We've (Lizze and me) have been knee deep in managing Gavin's physical and emotional health problems. They are never-ending, frequently changing and can often be a fulltime job, in and of themselves. As we're working through those issues we're also trying to make the necessary preparations in order to file for permanent guardianship of our newly minted 18-year-old son. Lizze is experiencing changes in her overall health and health care that makes things more challenging right now. Elliott appears to…

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Why am I so exhausted? I’m an #Autism parent, that’s why

Going into this post, it's important to know that I'm frustrated and trying to make a point about why Autism parents, like myself are so exhausted all the time. Every time I'm asked why I'm so exhausted, it's a reminder how little people understand the challenges I face as an Autism parent. I'm absolutely venting but trying my best to do so in a way that helps to put things into perspective. I shouldn't have to say this but I love my kids and Autism is part of who they are. I accept them and love them just the way they are. The reality however, is that Autism can make things very, very difficult. If you can relate to this, please show your support by clicking the Like, Share or…

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I’m a freshwater fish in a saltwater tank

I found myself really frustrated today and I'm not entirely sure why. Most of the time, I'm the odd man out in our house filled with Autism and truthfully, that can be difficult for me at times. It's like everyone around me is operating on the same operating system and I'm simply incompatible. That probably sounds harsher than I intend it to but this does create problems for me on an almost daily basis. Everyone else in the house struggles with sensory issues. Things like smells, sounds, lights, textures, tastes and even temperature are things that constantly influence behaviors. No one in my family aside from me, does well with any type of change. It doesn't matter if it's a change for the better or for the worse, because it…

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As a general rule, I don’t apologize for any of my kids with #Autism but this is one exception

I mentioned in a previous post that something happened yesterday while at Gavin's hematology appointment. Akron Children's Hospital was great, they always are. You have to understand something before we go any further. This appointment took place where Gavin used to receive his IVIG infusions. We're very familiar with this place after years of visits. Gavin is a sweet kids and doesn't have a mean bone in his body. He would never intentionally try to hurt someone or say something that caused someone pain. Unfortunately, along with missing mean bones, he's also missing a filter. It's not uncommon for kids on the Autism spectrum to lack a verbal filter. They basically say it how it is, and are unburdened by things like inhibition. Typically, kids with Autism don't lie. They…

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Getting help for #mentalillness is NOT weakness

I've been very open about my struggles with mental illness and I'll continue to be that way. There's absolutely no shame is struggling with mental illness. Getting help for mental illness is also not a sign of weakness. It's 2018 for God's sake, you'd think this would be more easily understood but sadly it's not. Unfortunately, there's still a great deal of judgmental and ignorant people out there. They are critical of what they don't understand and nothing you or I could say will change that. I think we've made progress in mainstreaming the discussion of mental illness but we have a ways to go. If you're struggling with a mental illness, please don't be afraid to get help. Admitting you need help is NOT a weakness. The only weakness…

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There are times I feel like quiting but this is why I don’t

Life is hard sometimes. I think most humans would agree with that. We all have limitations and life likes to test those. As an Autism parent, life and sometimes feel impossible. Between the therapies, appointments, meltdowns, sleep deprivation and countless other things, it's easy to become so overwhelmed that quiting can begin to make sense. It's so hard to find the time, energy, desire or motivation to care for one's self when you're already so busy taking care of everyone else. I'm making a serious effort to take better care of myself and walking everyday is one of the ways in which I'm doing that. The last thing in the world I felt like doing this morning was walking. The kids were gone and I could sleep in but I…

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It’s not about changing our kids with #Autism because we don’t except them for who they are

There's been some discussions lately on my Twitter feed about whether or not you should be putting your child with Autism into any type of therapy. What I'm seeing is parents trying to help their kids and adults with Autism seeming not agreeing with it. I understand the longstanding debate within the Adult Autistic community over ABA therapy but I wanted to take a second and clarify something. I think that since this is such an emotionally charged topic, that it's easy for there to me misunderstandings. I wanted to share what I think and why I work with my kids on the Autism Spectrum. Parents get accused of trying to change who their kids are and I don't think that's accurate or at least the right way to look…

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I was not a good husband or father today

I've always been different. I never really got into trouble as a kid or teenager. I never drank in high school and to this day, I've never done any form of recreational drugs or even smoked a cigarette. Peer pressure was just something I didn't pay much attention to. Growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a husband and a father. When everyone else was thinking about being a doctor or politician, I was thinking about having a family of my own. Obviously, I needed a career as well but that was more of a means to an end. I had an amazing pair of role models in my parents and while I know they aren't perfect, they always set a good example. My Mom and Dad always…

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