A simple act of kindness towards a fellow #Autism parent

I was at the grocery store today with my kids. Walmart to be exact and the kids were doing pretty well. I was a little frustrated with them but truthfully, that's more on me and less than them. We were at the register, unloading the massive amount of groceries so they could be scanned and bagged. Behind us in line was a mother and her adult son. If I had to guess, I would say the son was in his twenties. What caught my attention however, was the fact that her son was Autistic. As a parent to three Autistic kids, I can usually tell. Everyone is different but there's times when I can just tell. I think many Autism parents possess that same skill set. The mother had silver…

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A little overcompensation here and a little overcompensation there

So I've been avoiding talking about specifically what caused my marriage to implode and that's not going to change. Truthfully, there's a great deal I still don't understand myself and probably never will. Having said that, I do feel that it's fair and even important to speak about what I'm personally experiencing as a single parent because there's others out there going through similar things. Please don't read into anything because nothing I say is intended to be subtext. If you read last night's post, it was pretty clear that I was not in a good place. I was hurt, frustrated and even a little angry, but not at my kids. Thankfully, today has been a better day thus far. One of the things I'm struggling with is overcompensation. It's…

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Do you know what it means to be in survival mode?

I've not spoken about this in a while because I have been so caught up in the struggle; it hadn't occurred to me. During therapy tonight with the kids, our therapist mentioned that I'm in survival mode. I'm very familiar with survival mode but hadn't actually thought about it in a long time. I think many fulltime caregivers experience survival mode, but it can happen to anyone. Survival mode is a state in which a persons functionality is temporarily but significantly reduced to preserve what little physical and emotional resources they have left. This is not to be confused with laziness because it's not at all the same thing. Someone enters survival mode when they are physically and emotionally bankrupt. This is common for caregivers and parents of special needs…

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Insight into my struggles as an #Autism parent

Being an Autism parent is incredibly challenging. If you've been following our journey, you have probably picked up on that message by now. I try to be open, honest, and transparent about that because spin won't do anyone any good. 😉 I'm struggling a great deal lately. That makes an already challenging and complex situation even more so. Factor in depression, as well as the loss of several family members, and I feel like I'm drowning at times. My Daddy Do List keeps growing by the day. I have bills that need managing, a house in desperate need of repairs, a car that simply needs to be replaced because it's beyond repair, mounting yard work, and about million other things. I have a backlog of work-related things that need to…

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How do you help your child with #Autism navigate significant loss?

On Saturday morning, June 15th, my grandmother passed away at the age of 94. I've been really struggling with this loss for several reasons, but the loss isn't supposed to be easy. It's a part of life that we all will someday face, and it's unavoidable. While this is a tragically, heartbreaking time for our family, it also presents an opportunity to discuss how best to handle situations like this. I want to pose an important question to my fellow Autism and/or Special Needs parents out there. How do you help your Autistic or Special Needs child navigate significant loss? No one is given an instruction manual when they first become a parent. Being a parent is an awesome responsibility, and when things like Autism are added to the mix,…

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A Gentle Reminder: Don’t forget to focus on you

Gavin's struggles continue to increase, as do my constant levels of stress and anxiety. While it's not Gavin's fault, the constants associated with managing his behaviors is quite taxing, and considering I'm only human, it's essential I manage this stress the best I can. The reality is, being an Autism parent is among the toughest jobs any person can do. It's very rewarding and absolutely worth it, but it's in a category of challenge that exists unto itself. It's critical that I make self-care an absolute priority in my life. If I don't, I'll run myself into the ground trying to be everything for everyone and end up not doing any good for anyone. I wanted to remind my readers that it's not a bad thing to be selfish from…

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How I deal with bad days like today

One of the things Autism parents have to frequently deal with is bad days. Good lord, I have plenty of those and I'm sure many of you can relate to that as well. If you can't, please share your secrets to life because I could definitely use them. 😉 While I won't go into my day, mostly cause I've already written about (see here), I do think it's important that share how I'm cooing with it. Some bad days are worse than others. Today was somewhere in the middle but it really got under my skin and I feel like I wasn't coping well. I was just sorta festering and that's never a good thing. I don't think I noticed it as much at first because I was going nonstop,…

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The 800 Pound Gorilla

In this very brief, last-minute episode, I share my thoughts on Autism Speaks “Light It Up Blue” campaign. I talk about how Autism Awareness month has lost its meaning and I give you some ideas on how you can help raise awareness in ways that make a difference in peoples lives. Autism Awareness Month should be about people and not money.

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