Managing my #Depression: An Important Update

Depression has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. There have been times when I manage to maintain the upper hand and there are others when Depression makes me its bitch. This is why I refer to my struggles with Depression as a war and not a battle. (You can read more about my war on Depression by clicking here) Recently, I made some changes to the may I manage my Depression. More specifically, under medical supervision, I removed a medication I'd been on for about six years.(see my withdrawal from Paxil). I've spoken a great deal about the withdrawal process and for good reason. It's been absolutely horrible. I'm over five months in and I'm still feeling sick everyday from the withdrawal symptoms.…

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My 5 biggest #Autism Parenting worries and how I’m addressing them

If being an Autism parent was a video game, the difficulty setting would the three or four notches above the highest setting. That's not meant to be a joke. Autism Parenting requires more from a human being than most human beings are capable of. My wife and I are no exceptions to this. Over the last seventeen years, we've had to constantly triage our life, shifting our priorities on a daily basis, in order to meet the needs of our kids. It's an exhausting way of life because there's always so much to worry about. I wanted to address some things that my wife and I worry about as Autism parents, as well as, how we're addressing them in a positive and productive manner. I'm focusing on things that I…

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Does this make me the monster I feel like I am?

I'm going to cut to the chase. Putting things bluntly, Gavin is driving me absolutely crazy and I'm not as patient with him as I should be or as much as he deserves. He's constantly asking me the same questions and sharing outload, every thought that pops into his head. It's exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming. I used to be so patient with him in this regard and would listen to every word that came out of his mouth. Over time, it's chipped away at me and as Gavin's overall cognitive ability suffers, the constant talking increases. Getting him to do one or two step tasks requires multiple attempts and a great deal of coaching. I've no question in my mind that he's doing the best he can. I also know…

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A real life example of why #Autism Parenting is so challenging

Throughout the school year, we've had some concerns with certain teachers. It's not that they're doing something that was clearly wrong but rather we disagreed with their approach to dealing with kids on the Autism Spectrum. Recently, Elliott has been emotionally distraught over things he said were happening in the classroom. These things ranged from being singled out in front of the class, being questioned about his medications and being shamed over his struggles with homework. Whenever we've approached the teachers about this, Elliott says he would be confronted the next day by his teachers and he was terrified. When this came to our attention last week (Thursday), my initial reaction is one of being pissed off and wanting blood. He's one of my babies and I'm a papa bear.…

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Will you accept my #Autism Awareness month challenge?

It's Autism Awareness month once again. I see the Blue lights going up, the Memes spreading across the Internet but I want to make a suggestion to all of you out there. I believe Autism Awareness month has been around since 1970 and it seems that each year we pretty much do the same things. Autism organizations use the month to raise funds for whatever they actually do, some people protest these organizations and others do whatever they feel is right. It's not perfect but the world's still spinning. This year I want to issue a challenge to you and the rest of the Autism community. I want to challenge you to focus on self-care. I know that focusing on yourself can be very difficult, especially if you're a single…

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I will NOT be swallowed up by the negative in my life and here’s why

I'm so stressed out that I'm feeling sick to my stomach. Truthfully, I'd be sick to my stomach anyways cause of this stupid Paxil withdrawal but stress makes it so much worse. Rather than continually being swallowed up by the negative, I'm working to focus more on the blessings and here are a few examples of what I mean. It's all about perspective and the following are things weighing very heavily on me but there are hidden blessing in each situation. ☺ Our house sucks and the neighborhood is dangerous, but we have a roof over our heads. There are people out there who don't even have that. The car is literally rusting through, falling apart, no longer worth fixing and is too small to fit everyone without causing problems.…

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#Autism breaks my heart in more ways than I can explain

Autism is one of those human conditions that impacts every person touched by it in a different way. Sometimes those differences are not so big and other times those differences can be so profound, that you may wonder how they can all fit underneath the umbrella known as Autism.. Each of our three kids is impacted in different ways by Autism. Gavin is easily the most profoundly impacted though. Gavin has an extremely rare form of Autism called Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. There's almost no research or support for this blacksheep of the Autism Spectrum family. Most people haven't even heard of Childhood Disintegrative Disorder or CDD. Unfortunately, CDD is absolutely devastating and based on what little is known about this disintegrative disorder, there is never a good outcome. The reason…

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