I f*cking hate having to micromanage my oldest sons life

Today's been incredibly challenging for a number of reasons, and I'm pretty stressed out as a result. Truthfully, I'd be stressed out anyway but whatever. Mr. Gavin is struggling a bit right now. Who am I kidding? He's struggling a great deal right now, and it's taking a toll. Is there a nice way to say he's driving me fucking crazy? One of the more recent issues is that Gavin has been cursing rather openly. I get that he's almost 20 years old, but the reality is that he's maybe 5 or 6 years old on the inside. It's like having a kindergartener dropping f-bombs and other words that he shouldn't be saying. I think in most cases he's parroting stuff from YouTube and we've tried to address this but…

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Today’s Victory: My oldest accomplished something amazing

As I chill on the couch tonight, unable to sleep again because of my fricking leg, I thought I would get my super positive post from yesterday caught up. I will, however, make this quick because I'm really trying to get some sleep. Long story very short, I opted to go help my parents by cutting their grass last night. My dad is working a great deal and his knee is bad. My mom just had her knee replaced and better not even be thinking about cutting the grass. I'm watching you mom. 😉 Anyway, we all went over and everyone played a role in helping. Lizze spent the time with my Mom. Elliott and Emmett took Ruby and Cleo (my parents dog) for a walk. I got to use…

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Today’s Victory: Spending Time Together

It's been a rough day, but that's nothing new. On days like today, it's not always easy to focus on the positive. Having said that, I'm really pushing myself to do this on a daily basis because it's important. There a quite a few things that caused a shit-ton of stress and anxiety, but there's always something that can be viewed as a victory. Sometimes I need to look harder than others but there's always something. Today's victory is going to go to Mr. Gavin. He's really struggling with life right now, and so I feel it's very important not to overlook the positives when they come around. This particular victory might not seem like much on the surface but if you're an Autism parent, I suspect you'll understand. I've…

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His #IVIG infusion was a disaster this morning and here’s why

Gavin's been having a difficult morning so far. It was IVIG infusion day again (as it is every Monday and Friday), and it did not go well. Lately, Gavin likes Lizze to place the needles in his belly because they don't often leak when she does it. Lizze and I are both concerned that Gavin isn't doing his own infusions anymore. It's imperative that he be able to perform these infusions on his own. Anyway, Lizze was going to help him as soon as she was done eating, but he either misunderstood or wasn't listening cause he went off and did it himself. Unfortunately, both needle placements failed and were leaking. That always pisses him off, and it's understandable. This means he has to be re-stuck, and that means more…

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We are celebrating a pretty awesome victory tonight

I wanted to drop a quick line and update everyone on how Gavin did today. I've been talking recently about how Gavin is struggling with his temper or rather controlling it. He's got a very, very short fuse on a good day and no fuse on most others. He's been getting violent and aggressive when something doesn't go the way he expects it to. The past few days have been very challenging because he's exploded on more than a few occasions, and that creates stress for everyone. Most of Gavin's life was spent bouncing from one violent, self-injurious meltdown to another. All of us have been traumatized by Gavin's behaviors over the years, but he's been doing so much better as he's gotten older. Part of the issue with this…

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His explosive temper is a major problem

We're becoming more and more concerned about Gavin's explosive temper. It doesn't take much to light his very, very short fuse. The end result is loud, aggressive, and violent. He had another blowout at therapy tonight, and it took considerable effort to get him calmed down. We spent some time listening to Gavin, tell us about his missions. It was confusing and difficult to follow. Afterward is when the trouble began. Essentially what happened was that everyone was joking around. Lizze and I were talking with Dr. Pattie, while the kids were playing. There was a disagreement over what they were going to play, and Gavin lost it. Emmett was upset because Gavin didn't want to play monkey in the middle like they have been recent. He made up a…

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He gets very angry and looks for something to hit

I wanted to briefly talk about therapy tonight because we spent it trying to address some problems we are experiencing with Gavin. We spent time talking with Elliott first, but then an issue arose with Gavin that sorta derailed things. Gavin is an amazing young man, who's come a very long way over the years. Unfortunately, Gavin also has a temper and very little ability to manage it. Roughly 80% of the time that Gavin makes a mistake or needs to be corrected, he loses his temper. This is usually because he can't accept ever making a mistake. When this happens, he gets very, very angry and will look for something to hit. Usually, that something is himself. He punches himself in the face or hits his legs. He also…

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This might be something only another #Autism parent can truly appreciate

After my walk this morning, I had to take Gavin to get his blood work done. He needs this weekly due to one of his medications. Frequent blood work has been required for many, many years. When Gavin was much younger, his blood draws were an absolute nightmare. It was so bad that it had to be planned ahead of time, and extra staff needed to be on hand. At times, it took upwards of six to eight people to safely and successfully draw his blood. Gavin's always been very strong. No one could believe how violent and aggressive he could get until they witnessed it first hand. Gavin was a very small, unassuming kid but packed a wallop. Anyway, he's come a long way over the years. I now…

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