A major milestone in managing my #Depression

After roughly six years or so, I am saying goodbye to a medication that has been helping to manage my depression. It's been a three month long journey to withdrawal from Paxil, under medical supervision. The journey was a mixed bag of feeling like I was going to die and being okay. I took my last dose tonight and I feel really awesome about it. I'm hoping that as my body chemistry stabilizes, I continue managing my depression successfully between diet, exercise and the Fisher Wallace Stimulator. My next mission is to withdrawal from the Wellbutrin but I'm going to wait a bit and let the dust settle. Should this journey prove to difficult without medication, I'll revisit my decision to discontinue it. My doctor will help me find a…

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A major milestone in my battle with #Depression

I've been openly talking about my torrid relationship with depression for a long time now. It's important to speak openly and honestly because I want people to know that it's okay to talk about depression. There's no shame in battling depression and I think that when we suffer in silence, it's that much harder to stay afloat. At the same time, I understand why many people don't talk about it. Unless you're living with depression, it's very difficult to understand it. I have an update in regards to my current battle with depression. It's a big one and I'm feeling really good about it. Tonight marked the beginning of the third phase of my withdrawal from Paxil. That means I'm officially two months into the process and have one month…

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#Depression Confessions: 3 weeks into withdrawaling from #Paxil

Today marks the first day of the last week of the first four week phase of withdrawaling from Paxil. Did you get all that? lol There are four phases of withdrawaling from Paxil. The first two are each four weeks long. The last two are two weeks each. I'm officially beginning the final week of phase one. During this phase, I've been rotating between 40 mg/day and 20 mg/day. The first week was pretty horrible and I was really sick. By the end of the first week I was beginning to feel better but unfortunately, insomnia came next and that lasted about a week as well. The third week has actually been pleasant and I expect this week to be the same. After this week, my dose will officially be…

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Withdrawaling from #Paxil is causing new problem

This whole withdrawaling from Paxil has been a really difficult journey thus far. The first week of tapering down felt like the worst case of the flu I've ever had. It lasted about a week but has since subsided. I thought I was in the clear until the next phase starts in a few weeks. Unfortunately, that has proven not to be true. While I'm not sick anymore, I'm dealing with really bad insomnia instead. To be completely honest, I'm not sure which is worse, feeling like shit or not sleeping. The insomnia began shortly after the nausea, body aches and headaches ended. I'm really struggling to get any sleep at night. I've tried over the counter sleep aides and Melatonin but nothing works. The problem is that my brain…

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Depression Confession: Week 1 of Paxil withdrawal

It's officially the beginning of the second week of withdrawal from Paxil. What I've been doing is taking 40 mg/day on one day and then 20 mg/day on the next. I've completed the first week of this four week phase and it fucking sucked. You'd think I was withdrawaling from something hardcore and illegal but it's just an antidepressant called Paxil. I've received tons of messages from people who have gone through the same thing and understand how awful it is. I really appreciate all the feedback and support. Many people can withdrawl from Paxil without any issues whatsoever and there are others, like myself, who go through horrible withdrawal. It feels like the worst flu I've ever had. Having said all that, I seem to have come through the…

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This is like a medication induced roller-coaster

I've been trying to rest for a few hours and I'm feeling a little better, thank God. This experience is interesting in the sense that these side effects seem to come and go. It's like a roller-coaster of headaches and nausea.. There isn't really a rhyme or reason, as far as I can tell. It's been a rough day and I'm thankful it wasn't any worse than it was. My back is finally healing up and the hole is almost gone. I left the dressing off for a little while today in order to expose it to the air. Lizze suggested that I remove the bandage at bedtime and until the hole is gone, put a fresh bandage on in the morning. I happen to think that's a pretty solid…

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Who knew it would be this hard?

I'm officially feeling like shit. Coming off of Paxil is a fucking nightmare. I researched this for weeks before making a decision to do this and most people seemed to get really bad withdrawal symptoms. Some people can quit cold turkey and never have a problem. I'm apparently in the first category and there's no way to know own how you're going to react until you do. It feels like I have the flu. My head hurts, I've got the cold sweats and eating anything takes some serious effort cause the idea of food makes me want to puke. It could absolutely be worse because I could be coming off the Paxil much faster. The slower I come off, the less likely I am to suffer really bad side effects.…

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