How many times can one father’s heart break? Too many. The answer is too many. 

I don't feel really positive right now and that bothers me.  Unfortunately, the reality is that sometimes life just sucks. Life is unfair and cruel at times and it feels like Gavin has had a disproportionate amount come his way. Gavin's still hallucinating and frankly, things are getting worse. He's becoming very preoccupied with his visibly challenged group of super best friends and is spending less time in the reality that the rest of us live in. His friends are always coming with him now and he's involving them in his decision making. This morning he drew a picture of Twilight Sparkle's Midnight form. Twilight Sparkle is one of his visibly challenged super best friends. Before he drew her in this particular form (seen below), he told me that he…

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A smidgen of #Autism Parenting insight

I was blessed enough to be able to take a nap this morning.  I needed a break from Gavin's talking.  I don't know if that will make sense to people who've not experienced it but I know our family gets how overwhelming and exhausting it is to listen to him nonstop.  Anyway, I feel refreshed after my nap and my patience has been somewhat replenished for now.  I'm going to do my best to be an understanding and patient parent for the rest of the day... We'll have to see... lol

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I don’t know how much more I can take right now

The boys got off to school okay this morning.  Emmett's sporting his new crocs and at least for now, all is well.   That's the good news.  In the world of bad news, Gavin's driving me crazy.   Maybe I'm just grumpy or lacking in the area of patience today but Gavin's incessant talking is really getting to me.  This kid will not shut up and I can't escape it. .  What I wouldn't give for a few moments of peace and quiet.  I don't know what's going on with him today but if I didn't know better, I'd say he's manic.  I suppose that makes sense, considering his emotional state recently.  My head hurts and I'm not Coping with this very well today.  I just need a short nap…

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Gavin did great in Speech Therapy today

Gavin and I arrived home from Speech Therapy about 40 minutes ago and I just wanted to share that he did a really good job.   It's important to remember that doing a really good job can be relative, especially when dealing with kids on the Autism Spectrum.  People on the outside might not see why he did so well today because they lack the frame of reference, context and perspective that I do when it comes to Gavin.  That being said, he tried really hard and never lost his temper.  He completed his assignment that was due today, totally on his own and did a really good job at that.   His never give up attitude is really inspirational to those around him and for that and many other…

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What I realized while watching my oldest during Speech Therapy 

I'm sitting here with Gavin at Speech Therapy, listening to him through the intercom and behind to two way mirror that divide us.   He's so upbeat and happy, which is awesome.   At the same time, I'm realizing just how hard he is to understand anymore. His speech has regressed to a point that some of his speech needs to be interpreted because he just can't articulate well anymore.   It's really sad for me as a parent to experience this but at the same time, I'm so inspired by him because he just never quits and never gives up.   He's never complained about the health issues that have him locked into the course and I find that awe inspiring. How many of us would have the strength…

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A heartbreaking update on Gavin 

Gavin had his IVIG infusion tonight and seems to have done better this time around. He went to bed feeling fine but he's not been sleeping well. I've been watching him sit up in bed, stand up, sit back down and go back to bed.  He's done this a few times tonight and I have no clue what that's all about.  I'm not even sure how awake he is. I haven't seen him do this is in a little while so I'm hoping he'll sleep now. While we're on the subject of Gavin, I thought I should probably update everyone on what Gavin's emotional status is. In short, not so well.  He's spending more and more time alone in his room.  He's going on some really weird, borderline creepy missions.…

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Good News :) 

Gavin seems to be doing a little better now.  The meds have kicked in and he's moving around without wanting to puke his guts out.  This is good news, as the title to this post states.   I'm making him take it easy for now because I don't want him to over do it and end up not feeling well again.  We really have to be careful when it comes to his health. Hence fragile health.  We also have to do his IVIG infusion today and I'm hoping that goes better this time around.   For now, I'm just grateful he's doing better and is no longer in any pain or discomfort. ☺ 

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Gavin isn’t doing well this morning :(

I was up really late with the two youngest boys and woke up to Gavin doubled over in pain, feeling like he was going to vomit.   It's really frustrating to try and get information from Gavin about how he feels because that's a skill known as expressive language and Gavin is sorely lacking in that department.   All we can do is try to piece together what's going on based on what we see and how he's acting.   As far as this morning goes, I gave him his anti-nausea medication and Lizze got him something to help speed things alone.  Part of the issue is that Gavin may be um.....backed up. We addressed that and we'll see if that helps.   Back to the frustrating side of things.…

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