You may think me a bad parent for this..

In an effort to try and not internalize this, I'm going to be brutally honest. Gavin is driving me absolutely fucking crazy. I love him. I truly do and I know that for the most part, this isn't his fault, but holy shit, I'm going to lose what's left of my mind. Gavin is a really amazing person and he has so many admirable qualities. He's kind, helpful, respectful, never gives up, never complains and always has a smile on his face. Gavin is the kind of person who would do anything for anyone, even at his own expense. That being said, Gavin is also very difficult to coexist with. He talks incessantly, freaks out over every single mistake he makes, he tries to parent his younger brothers, manipulates and…

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Some #Autism parenting frustrations and obstacles

Last night was one of those rare moments in life where my wife and I had a childless house. While we might get a break or two a month, typically there's still someone home with us and makes it much less of a break. The reason for that is Gavin. Gavin causes too many problems with his brothers if all three of them are together at the same time. It triggers fighting and things get ugly. Unfortunately, there's really no getting through to Gavin because he's not one to learn from experience. Essentially, the problem arises from Gavin wanting his way, all the time when he's at either one of his Grandparents houses. He's very good at manipulation in these situations and as I said, it's very upsetting to his…

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Just a super quick note

So, I'm sorry that I've been absent from here recently or at least not writing as much as I normally do. I'm spread so thin right now and I'm having to puts some things down. I wanted to quickly post an update because Gavin is heading back to Akron Children's Hospital this morning. This is a follow-up with his gastro. He's having some problems and I need to try and find him some help. Lizze and I will have to divide and conquer today because she's has to not only be somewhere else during Gavin's appointment but she's also making sure the kids get picked up from school. I'm not feeling super enthusiastic about today but we need to get through it. I wish you all the best today and…

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I’m frustrated, heartbroken and unable to sleep

Life has been getting in the way of writing lately and that's frustrating. This is a major outlet for me and when it's impeded, I tend to struggle a bit more. My intention with this post is to play catch-up. I think the last time I wrote anything significant was in regards to our chaotic trip to the immunologist eariler in the week, so we'll pick things up after that. The following day, I had a doctor's appointment of my own. It was just a check-up with my primary but the results of the check-up were relatively significant, at least for me. The appointment went really well. My blood pressure was perfect and my weight is continuing to drop off. My big concern was the results of my recent lab…

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Gavin said something very disturbing yesterday and this is how we’re handling it

Yesterday Gavin told me something and it's really concerning for a number of reasons. I'm just going to get into what he told me and then discuss the reasons for concern and what we can do about it. Out of nowhere, Gavin approached me yesterday and wanted to tell me something. I had assumed it was about a game or something and was not paying a great deal of attention. The next words out of his mouth were "I keep having thoughts of stabbing you guys". That got my immediate and undivided attention. I remained calm and asked him to explain a bit more about these thoughts. He gave me the following example: when I'm washing the dishes and cleaning a knife, I think about what would happen if one…

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I have GOOD news and BAD news

I'm going to start with the good news first because I feel pretty good about the good news. ☺ We celebrated Gavin's birthday today and I think he really enjoyed it. I picked the boys up from school and took them to pick out some things for Gavin that could be from them. We then picked up his cake and ordered Chinese food. It went pretty smooth and I'm grateful for that. Gavin decided on the 1st Transformers movie and we all watched it with dinner. He's really happy with everything and that feels good. He spent all morning playing Kingdom Hearts III and he says it was worth the wait. ☺ Unfortunately, this couldn't just be a good day. There's always a counter weight that seems to keep things…

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It’s a big day for a number of reasons

It's a big day today for a number of reasons. First of all, we're celebrating Gavin's 19th birthday. He actually turned 19 on January 18, 2019 but asked us not to celebrate it until February 1st. He wanted to wait because Kingdom Hearts III was released. That's what he wanted for his birthday and he didn't want to celebrate until then. I'm not entirely sure what we're going to do yet. Gavin wants chinese for dinner and mentioned he'd like to watch a movie. Maybe we'll go to a movie or maybe we'll rent one. I suppose it depends on the direction the day takes. After I pick the boys up from school, I'm taking them to the store so they can pick out some things for Gavin. We'll also…

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