Surviving

It was decided by all involved to keep Emmett home from school yesterday and today. We have documentation and the school is aware of everything that's going on. They've been very supportive and I can't say how appreciative of that I am. Emmett is not in a good place emotionally and his meds were updated Wednesday, which is part of the reason for staying home. He's still doing his class work and the goal is to return on Monday, with a new support plan in place at school. Again, they've been so supportive throughout this whole thing. It was a really rough night because Emmett had nightmares all night long. He didn't sleep well and I was up with him on and off all night long. It took some doing…

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I’m trying very hard to focus on the positive so here’s an important update

It's been a very challenging day for me as a parent but especially for Emmett. He needs all the love and support we can muster so please send them his way. I really appreciate it. That said, I wanted to try and focus on the positive and share an update about something I apparently forgot to share. You may recall that last week, Emmett was going to have a friend come over. He came over on Thursday and they spent 4 or 5 hours hanging out together. Emmett had a great time and his friend is a really nice kid. There were zero problems and I'm very open to doing this again. I mentioned something to Emmett about maybe seeing if he can come back over this weekend but we…

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Creative ways my kids avoid talking during therapy

The boys had an emotional therapy session last night. Gavin didn't participate outside of briefing us on his rather bizarre missions he's been going on lately. Frankly, it was weird and kind of uncomfortable to listen to. Elliott and Emmett had some things that were upsetting them. These were things that I couldn't help with because I don't have any control over other people's actions. They didn't want to talk about it but they eventually did and I'm very proud of them for doing so. Mr. Emmett went and found a blue bucket, cut out facial expressions, and taped them to the outside of the bucket before putting it over his head in an attempt to avoid talking about these things. He evertually opened up but it took some time.…

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I got the kids into the pediatrician last night

The boys were at the doctor's last night and the verdict is in, they're absolutely sick. Emmett has a respiratory infection but no signs of strep throat. He's dealing with a virus and can return to school on Thursday, assuming he doesn't get worse. Elliott has a combo sinus infection and respiratory infection, with some asthma related complications. Because he's not made any improvement in the last week or so, she changed his meds and he should be able to return to school on Thursday, assuming the new antibiotics work. I'm supposed to have the boys to Akron Children's Behavioral Health today. I asked if I should reschedule it but she said no. There's no reason I can't take them. Everyone is moving slowly this morning but in good spirits.…

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The kids are really sick and I’m overwhelmed

The boys are both really sick and won't be at school in the morning. Elliott seems to be getting worse and Emmett is quickly catching up. Both are running fevers and I'm going to call Akron Kids in the AM to see if I can get them seen by their pediatrician. Their mom just got over strep throat and Emmett is presenting in a very similar way. Elliott is being treated for bronchitis and he seems like he's struggling more today than he was yesterday. The fever is new and he just sounds awful. I'm worried because he tends to go south quickly when it comes to respiratory issues. His asthma complicates things. He's prone to pneumonia and I just want to stay on top of this. If Emmett has…

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This is pretty f*cking amazing but you might not get why

The coolest thing happened last night and my phone was dead so I couldn't get a picture of it. I meant to share this when it happened but I was distracted by a million other things. Last night I grilled hamburgers, hotdogs and chicken breast for dinner. Elliott will only eat chicken but Emmett and Gavin would eat the burgers and hotdogs. I needed to keep everything seperate as best I could so everyone would actually eat it. Anyway, Emmett did the most amazing thing when it came to his hamburger, he actually put it on a bun. This has literally never happened before. In fact, until that moment, if his food even touched bread, he wouldn't eat it. This is such a long established thing that I wouldn't even…

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It’s a start

I knew going into my first night sleeping alone, that it would likely be short-lived. I was right. I fell asleep around midnight and Emmett was still in his own bed. When I say I was alone in my bed, Ruby was there. She likes to sleep under the blanket, right up against my back. She's so tiny that you wouldn't know she was there if you didn't know she was there. About 3 AM, Emmett woke up and came running into my room. He made it longer than I thought he would do and while he didn't make it through the night, progress is progress. We're going to keep trying and someday, we'll make it through the night.

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I’m finally sleeping alone tonight

I've been feeling a significant amount of anxiety today and it came to a head after dinner. The kids have been at each other's throats all day and Gavin will not stop talking about whatever floats into his brain. It's a lot to deal with on top of everything else. I'm pretty sure that I'm experiencing little panic attacks. I feel heart palpations and I have to really work to calm myself. Unfortunately, there's no escape from the stress and nowhere to hide. That being said, I decided that I need my bedroom to be my sanctuary. I need it to be a safe place for me to escape to when I need a time out. That means that I need to get Emmett to transition back to his own…

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