Blog - Page 99 of 1611

A few of my 2020 goals

One of my goals for 2020 is to further expand upon my efforts and to do that, it requires several things. One I need to setup more of a business structure. One of the things I need to do is meet with an attorney. Something similar to Kazmi Law might work. I've mentioned many times before that I wanted to setup a non-profit but I'm not sure. I make my living with this site via things like digital marketing and sponsorships. I sell adspace here and adspots on the podcast. This allows me to generate an income that helps me feed my kids and fuel my efforts going forward. One of my challenges is that I'm doing this alone. I don't have a team of people working for or with…

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January 31, 2020

My thoughts

How about some fantastic news

I'm in a rush at the moment but I wanted to share some good news. For the last 3 days, Emmett has gone to school for 90 minutes. The plan for this week was for him to attend for 1 hour and I would pick him up. Basically, I drop them off at school, go walking and then pick Emmett back up. The principal and I worked this out. This is major progress because when I pick Emmett up, he's not in a complete panic at this point. He says that it's not great but it's not terrible. That's progress and I'll take it. Beginning Monday, Emmett will be going to school for at least 2 hours each morning. He's feeling much better about school and while we aren't out…

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January 31, 2020

My thoughts

I’m not angry but I am frustrated and overwhelmed

Not a great deal was accomplished at our brainstorming session last night. The who point was to try and come up with some ideas that will help Emmett get back to school. I don't think the gravity of the situation is hitting everyone because they don't have to deal with any of it. I'm the only one facing these challenges with my kids. I'm the one that has to see them struggling and/or be up all night with them because they're having nightmares. It's frustrating for me because everyone else is on the outside looking in, while I'm drowning, trying to keep everyone afloat. I'm desperately in need of a solution that works. I'm not angry with anyone. I'm overwhelmed and at the end of my rope. That said, everyone…

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January 29, 2020

Confessions / Depression Management / My thoughts

#Depression is making life very challening

It's been a really busy day. I recorded two interviews and finalized another one for next week. I want to get as far ahead of myself as I can because the Florida trip is going to throw things off schedule. This way I pods releasing for the next few weeks. I just need to edit and schedule them before I leave. I mentioned that I'm seriously depressed and unfortunately, one of the biggest ways depression impacts me is my short term memory. It's weird because I don't really forget anything that happens or what is said. It's more that I lose my train of thought. When I'm interviewing someone, I have questions that pop up and if I don't jot them down, I will likely forget what I was going…

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January 28, 2020

My thoughts

The good news and the bad news

The day has been long and frustrating. First, I want to share some good news. I really want to refocus on finding the silver lining in each day. Gavin did his own IVIG Infusion today for the first time in a long time. His infusion went off without a hitch and without any leaking. Gavin came down the stairs afterwards and said "Dad, I was really lucky today because my infusion didn't leak." I looked at him, made him walk back upstairs and start over. This time, however, I wanted him to say "Dad, I did a great job with my infusion and it finished without leaking." The reason for me doing this was to reframe how he views what happened. Rather than just think he was lucky, I wanted…

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January 28, 2020

My thoughts

I just heard back from the school

Monday is off to a meh kinda start. It's not terrible but it could be better. Elliott got off to school and Emmett is doing okay this morning. I heard from the school a few hours ago and I'm meeting with them tomorrow morning to discuss options. I'm not sure what those options are but I do know that the goal is temporary home instruction. I'm not sure how this is going to go. Emmett's mom and I will be pushing for whatever is in Emmett's best interest. Anyway, that's for tomorrow. Gavin's infusion is currently underway. He did the entire process on his own. He wasn't happy about that but he must be able to do this on his own. I'm always here to help him but this is…

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January 27, 2020

Confessions / Depression Management / My thoughts

#Depression is absolutely kicking my ass

I had a nice chat with my Dad this afternoon. I called to see how he was doing because he's been sick. He's sorta feeling better but now my Mom is sick. We only spent a few minutes on the phone but I sorta unloaded a bit and it was something I really needed to do. I get so caught up in everything that is demanded of me, I don't see how much I'm personally struggling. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and massively fucking depressed. The truth is, I'm absolutely lost and I don't know how to find my way home. I'm somewhat going through the motions each day, but I'm dropping the ball in all areas of my life. I just can't keep up. In my opinion, I'm failing my kids…

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January 26, 2020

My thoughts

The struggle is real

In the good news department, everyone slept in their own beds, and did so through the night. That means I actually slept pretty well myself. Progress is progress and this is progress. I have to get to the grocery store today but aside from that, I don't think there's much going on. Elliott will return to school in the morning and I'm hoping to hear about Emmett's home instruction this week. All the documentation is in and it's just another round of hurry up and wait. I'm feeling incredibly stressed out today but I can't say exactly why that is. The house is falling apart and we lost a good chunk of the progress we recently made. I have quite a few things that need my attention. I'm unmotivated and…

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January 26, 2020