So often parents of kids with Autism or Special Needs suffer in silence. We don't always ask for help or tell people the truth about how we're really feeling, if we're ever asked. As I'm trying to help people understand what parents like myself go through on a daily basis, I'm going to share what's keeping me awake tonight. These are my innermost thoughts that only myself and my wife are ever really aware of.  I rarely talk about this stuff anymore because they aren't things that I'm proud of and frankly, I don't always have the courage to share this stuff publicly. As I'm laying in bed tonight, I'm overwhelmed by fear, self-doubt and feelings of utter failure. I feel like I'm failing my kids for a million reasons…

I had the hardest time sleeping last night. The reason for this is something that I've never experienced before.   I had a nightmare that wouldn't quit and I mean that literally or as close to literally as possible. Everyone has nightmares and there's nothing unusual about that.  Last night, my nightmare was family related and seemed to go on forever.  I can normally wake myself up because I'm aware that I'm dreaming.  I know that sounds weird but so am I... ☺  I woke up a few times last night, for various reasons but each time I went back to sleep, the nightmare picked right up where it left off, as though I had hit the pause button before waking up..  To my knowledge, I woke up four times…