It was a really early start to the day. Emmett had a bad dream and climbed into bed with us around 5am. He couldn't seem to get comfortable, so neither could I. Around 5:30am, I finally gave up and moved downstairs to get my day started a bit early. My eyes are heavy but I'm not feeling that bad. It's going to be a longer day because it started way too early..
Recently, Gavin's been complaining of stomach aches and nausea. Yesterday morning, he wouldn't even eat breakfast because of this. Gavin is very motivated by food. He plans his life around breakfast, lunch and dinner. Anyone that knows Gavin would probably not even believe me if I said Gavin didn't want to eat breakfast. I don't know what the deal is but it doesn't seem to be bathroom related. It also tends to come and go. He might feel sick for a little bit but then it goes away, only to return later. It's weird and we'll have to keep an eye on this. It probably wouldn't hurt to see the pediatrician for a check up anyway. I will say that Gavin went to bed without any problems popping up.…
I don't normally vent in a manner this uncensored but I'm fucking pissed. If I have any hope of sleeping tonight I need to purge just a little bit. We had an appointment with the boys psychiatrist tonight. Actually, we were supposed to have a appointment. For the most part, Elliott and Emmett were just med checks, so it's not a huge deal for them. In regards to Gavin though, it's an entirely different situation. We needed this appointment for him because of everything he has going on right now. Unfortunately, we ended up leaving without being seen. Our appointment was at 6pm and we were there by fifteen minutes till. Reception was already shutdown and there was no office staff present to sign us in…
We are finally at the psychiatrists office for all three boys. Elliott is a simple meds check and refill, while Emmett's is in regards to a meds check, refill and sleep issues. Gavin on the other hand is a far different and much more complicated situation. I'm sitting here sick to my stomach because I don't know what's going to happen. We may not have any choice but to adjust his meds and that scares the shit out of me. Thank God I'm not doing this alone anymore. Lizze and I are prepared to do whatever we have to in order to help Gavin. I'm seriously shaking as I'm writing this because I'm terrified we have to increase his Clozapine.
While this morning was a rough one, the boys pulled it together and got to school on time. Most importantly though, they went to school with a smile on their face. I hate sending the boys anywhere against their will because I never know how it will impact them but when they have a smile on their face, I know things will at least be a little bit okay. In a little bit, I have to actually go pick them up and bring them home because it's that time of day already. Today's flown by way too fast.
Everyone is ready for school and I have a few minutes to kill before I need to leave. The boys are in rare form this morning. Elliott is bouncing off the walls hyper and Emmett is full of meltdowns. They're like polar opposites this morning and it's been very difficult to get any level of cooperation. The only reason we have time to kill is because Lizze was up really early and got a jumpstart on the day. Thank God for that because the way these guys are going, we'd never have made it on time.
Please don't get me wrong when I say this, because I truly love Gavin and I wouldn't have done half the things I've already done, currently doing or will be doing in the future if I didn't. Gavin is driving me crazy. Yes, I'm very aware of how short that trip is but regardless, he's driving me there. When I write about him and what he's going through, it's meant to simply provide insight into our lives. At the same time, people have been following our story for nine years now and have grown to care about our lives and that absolutely includes Gavin as well. I like to keep updates flowing whenever I can. That being said, I don't know how much more of Gavin's current emotional status I'm…
I haven't written anything today and that's pretty unusual for me. The truth is I've been just a bit overwhelmed. I've got a lot of things on my mind lately. Lizze went out of town with her Mom for the day. Good for them because we're really trying to do things differently and time away is important.☺ That left me and the boys with the house to ourselves. While Lizze was missed, it's nice to just be the guys again for a little bit. Maybe that sounds weird and it's not meant to be taken in a negative way. Anyway, I just couldn't find the motivation to write about anything today. Frankly, I'm not sure there was much to say anyway. It's now just after midnight and…