Blog - Page 191 of 1611

I’ve had better days

I've been thinking about how to describe the way I'm feeling and the only thing I can come up with is that I've had better days. I know that sounds pretty generic but its all I have at the moment. I'm not in a really good place and I'm struggling to sorta keep the ship righted. I'm completely exhausted both physically and emotionally. I didn't sleep last night and I can feel depression taking hold of me. There's too much happening all at once and I'm bogged down, no longer able to process things right now. All I want to do is shutdown for a little while but unfortunately, that's simply not an option. I have too many things that I have to figure out in the next couple of…

5 Comments

January 5, 2019

My thoughts

My Real-life Struggles: I don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to pull this off

As a full-time caregiver, I'm really struggling at the moment and talking about it helps.

6 Comments

January 5, 2019

My thoughts

I’m so heartbroken tonight

Lizze and the boys are in bed. I'm with my parents and siblings, sitting with my grandfather. This is fucking awful and it's so hard to bare witness to someone leaving this life. We sat the boys down and explained what was happening. They were able to visit with him but Emmett is taking it really hard. Elliott is internalizing everything at the moment but he will likely breakdown as soon as he let's his guard down. Gavin is completely obvious and unaffected. I took everyone home a couple hours ago and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'll probably eventually go home but it doesn't feel right to do that. When my grandmother passed away fifteen years ago, Lizze and I left the hospital and didn't make…

5 Comments

January 3, 2019

Cleveland Clinic / Lizze / Migraines / My thoughts / Neurological Center for Pain

Praying the @clevelandclinic can help my wife

Lizze and I made it to the Cleveland Clinic's Neurological Center for Pain. We actually made it 10 minutes early and considering traffic, that's a miracle. Lizze and I have set a goal to find at least some answers but also some relief from her constant, crippling pain. We need to get the medication situation straightened out immediately. Wish us luck but also know that she's in good hands with the Cleveland Clinic.. ☺

4 Comments

January 3, 2019

Cleveland Clinic / Lizze / Migraines / My thoughts / Neurological Center for Pain

Helplessly watching as my wife suffers is absolutely awful

Lizze is in rough shape today. This migraine is relentless and you can see that it's taking its toll on her. She's absolutely miserable and there's nothing I can do to help her. It's so bad she can't be touched. There's not anything I can do but get her to her appointment today. The pain makes her sick and unable to eat or sleep. I'm hoping that we can find something that will help her get some relief. We have an hour plus drive to Cleveland today and she's not in a place to endure that. Unfortunately, it's the only option and it's important that we get there. I fucking hate that I can't help her with this. No one should have to live in this much pain and if…

1 Comment

January 3, 2019

Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

I’m feeling utterly defeated and desperately needing to catch a break

I'm feeling incredibly defeated today and there's a number of legitimate reasons for that. It's important to put things into context so here's a but of background. Life is tough for my family on a good day. Including myself, there are five people in my immediate family, and four have special needs. All four are in various places on the Autism Spectrum. Three struggle with serious anxiety that impacts their daily life. Three have ADHD. Three have serious sensory processing challenges that interfere with their daily life. Two have asthma. One has food allergies. One struggles with a very rare fever disorder. One struggles with Schizophrenia, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, significant cognitive impairment, Common Variable Immunodeficiency, an extremely rare Autonomic disorder, epilepsy, neuromuscular issues, a blood disorder, Ehlers-Danlos (possibly vascular) and…

7 Comments

January 3, 2019

My thoughts

We’re losing my Grandfather

I got up this morning and headed to my parents house to sit with my grandpa. It sucks watching someone slowly pass away but if I have to find a silver lining, it would be that I'm reconnecting with cousins I've not seen in a very long time. As awful as all of this is, it's brought all of us together. When my grandmother passed away, over ten years ago, we just sorta drifted apart. It was really nice to see everyone that I've not seen in a really long time. Anyway, the boys are with Lizze's parents for right now. Lizze is now home, trying to hide from all forms of light. Her migraine woke her up very early this morning and has been relentless today. I'm spending as…

1 Comment

January 2, 2019

Autism Parenting Insight / My thoughts

We’re just going to have to adapt today

We're having to adapt to a relatively fluid situation today. The original plan for the day was straightforward and simple. All I had to do was take Elliott to his appointment with behavioral health at Akron Children's Hospital. After that, we had family therapy. I mentioned in a previous post that my grandfather has been placed in hospice and we're not looking at a great deal of time. I need to be available today to help my Mom with whatever she may need. I'm unable to be in two places at the same time so we've made alternate arrangements for Elliott's appointment. Lizze and her Mom will take Elliott to his appointment. Gavin and Emmett were originally going to go with them. Unfortunately, Emmett woke up this morning in a…

3 Comments

January 2, 2019