Lizze, You have given us so much. I wanted to show you how amazing I know you are.  You are responsible for giving me my children. That is something I can never fully repay you for. Everyday you raise above all the pain you are in and you all that you have. You are a shining example of what a mother should be. Not only are you a mother but a special needs mother. I hope you realize how much the kids and I love you. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELCJcs1qsVY]

Casualties of war. That's what it sometimes feels like. One of the things people don't think about when it comes to autism is the marriages involved. Raising an autistic child (in our case most likely two) has such an impact on our lives as a whole. Everything gets put on hold in order to wage war on the disorder stealing two of our three children away. Priorities shift and you become tunnel visioned on that one thing you want more then anything, getting your child back. One of the big things that gets put on an indefinite hold is our marriage. There simply just isn't enough time and defiantly not enough help. It's a very painful reality to find yourself in. My wife and I are absolute best friends and…

I find my more and more lost with Emmett John and Gavin each day. Gavin is really struggling with simple every day type things. Gavin has "NO" common sense. That's not a slam on him it's just a fact. Things that would come automaticly to most don't come at all to Gavin. So we are having to work overtime to stay ahead of him in almost every area of his life. Gavin is trying to micro-manage everyone around him. He will only play his way. Elliott Richard is not allowed to use his imagination but Gavin is. All these things are causing tension to build in an already tense situation. My sister came today to take Elliott Richard to the park. Gavin was invited but we had to say no…

Lizze and I took Elliott Richard and Emmett John to the park to feed the ducks. They had a blast and so did we. Lizze was in a lot of pain after but I think she would say it was worth it. We then picked up Gavin from school and came home..... Pretty good day, all things considered. LT

Last night was another long night. Emmett John woke up about 3:30 am screaming again. We couldn't do much of anything to console him. I wish I knew what was going on. Lizze ended up taking him downstairs about 4:00 am.  She is upstairs now with him sleeping. These nights are killing us....

Gavin got off to school today in a great mood. He doesn't like to talk on the way to school all the time. What he was saying didn't make much sense. They were like strung together incoherent thoughts. When we got to school he got out of the car and ran to the door. Just watching him I realize we are loosing more of him again. I don't know how he didn't just fall over while running to the door. It's very clear the his body and brain are not in sync with each other. He has kind of like a "rag doll" appearance when he is moving. He's extremely limp and uncoordinated (and way more so then usual). I don't know what we are going to do. His doctors…

Emmett John I wish I knew what was troubling you. I know you wish I understood and so do I. I want to know why your so angry and frustrated. I can only assume it's because your world is confusing and overwhelming. Not being able to talk doesn't make things any easier for you does it. Mommy and I are trying everything we possibly can to get to the bottom of things. Whether you are autistic or not you need help and we will do whatever it takes to get it for you. Please hang in there and don't give up on us. We love you so much. Daddy

The more I think about what's going on with Gavin the more I am wondering if he's not just regressing again. We have experienced a few regressive phases in the past few years. In the past when they have hit they seem to effect some random part of Gavin's abilities. For example he has been brushing his own teeth for many years then all of a sudden he can't do it with out making a HUGE mess. Then he will walk out of the bathroom with toothpaste all over his face. Sometimes he will regain the ability after some time and practice. The big issue is whether or not this is really happening or is he just playing us and exercising control in the only way he knows how to.…