Well ER just had a nightmare that we were all driving in the car and the wheels fell off and we crashed. He was pretty freaked out so now he's snuggling with us and going back to sleep. Thank you for sharing our lives. LT

Last night was pretty nice. I finally got to take something for my back. Some pain killers,muscle relaxers and motrin. I was out by 7:30pm. I haven't taken anything for my back for a really long time. I slept on the couch and at some point I ended up with ER draped across my legs. I kept trying to shake him off cause - though he was Maggie. I slept in and it was great. I woke up to Gavin having a meltdown over something I can't remember. But it was still nice to not hurt even just for a little while. Thanks honey. Thank you for sharing our lives. LT

Something is going on with Gavin. He's really off today and that's saying something. Today was the first day of summer break. All I can say is 1 down 103 to go. I'll be honest I'm not looking forward to this summer. We are getting Gavin in to see the doc's again because he is really starting to worry us. My first thought would be over medication but he's not over medicated. He is however still regressing. He brushes his teeth and you'd think he'd been finger painting with the tooth paste not brushing his teeth. He can't find things. He'd look for his backpack (which is on the couch where he put it) and can't find it. He will even pick "IT" up and look underneath it. His problem…

Gavin is really starting to struggle. He seems to have significantly regressed with no sign of slowing down. The frustrating part is that he could be playing us. He is extremely manipulative. Lizze went to the school to pick up Gavin today and chat with the principle. While they were talking Gavin very inappropriately put his arm around Lizze and grabbed her butt (not letting go) and the laid his face in her breasts. She handle it well. They had the private parts talk again. We have to get this under control if that's even possible. He does this type of hyper sexual thing pretty often and "no" it's not an innocent thing. There is intent behind it. We will have to increase our vigilance in this area. Thank you…

So this morning it rained. I happen to look behind our tv and I noticed water dripping inside the window. The storm windows were closed cause the air was on. I looked again and the windows had actually filled with water. When I open the inside window the water poured out onto the floor. The water was dripping through the wall into the window. I have all the computer business hooked up over there but we caught it before they were damaged. That would have been devastating. I have built up a lot of stuff for the business over the years and I would not have been able to replace for a bit. My dad and brother came over and laddered the side of the house and fixed the clog…

Perspective: From the heart of a special needs father: You are lucky because you never use words like autism, spectrum, bipolar, sensory, anti-psychotic, manic or nonverbal in relation to your children and may not even know what they mean. I am all to familiar with them and wish I wasn't. You are lucky because your kids have friends, even if they could pick them better. Mine don't have any and that breaks my heart. You are lucky because your kids curse and are disrespectful. Mine have never said a word and I would give anything to hear him say Daddy. You are lucky your kids wear clothes even though you can't stand their tastes. Mine can't stand the feel of clothes on their skin. You are lucky you have to…

Autism is changing me. I have become very bitter and angry. I'm angry that I have lost my friends. I'm pissed off at the "family" that forced us to walk away. I'm angry at the "family" that walked away from us because they couldn't hack it. I'm angry that my career is gone. I'm angry that Autism is stealing away my children. I'm angry that Gavin will never live a "normal" life or even live on his own for that matter.I'm angry that he will never have the opportunities so many people take for granted.  I'm angry that we are so alone. I'm angry that I have to sit here and watch  EJ deteriorate and no one seems to take that seriously. I'm angry that the people that should don't…

I know that it seems like all I write about are depressing things. I write about lots of problems. The reason for that is because IT IS OUR TRUTH. These are the things we are living through every day. It's hard to see any positives in the face of so much adversity. I know it's depressing to read all the negatives all the time but try living it. We don't get to walk away. We don't get a break, EVER. We are going to fail if we don't get help. We are going to fall apart if we don't get a break. The point of this blog was to start the conversation by breaking the silence. Sharing the unedited truth is really the only thing I can do. I have…