I think we are reaching the breaking point with Gavin. I don't know that there is any way to stabilize the rest of the family with him here in the condition he is in. I'm not saying that it's his fault as I clearly know it's not but there is an element of choice in much of what he does. I think the unpleasant truth is that he has no ability left for higher functioning. I think he is functioning on the most basic level and for him that's about 3 years old. He is basically a giant 3 year old right now. The problem is that he is rocking the boat way to much and we are taking on more water then we can pump out. Our family, our…

After today Lizze and I are discussing whether or not to take Gavin to Akron Children's for the psych hold he should have had at the Cleveland Clinic.  Gavin is a complete disaster right now. He is so emotionally unstable right now he is actually worse then he was before the Cleveland Clinic. The reason for that is now is has been unmedicated for a week. I don't know how to help him. He is completely miserable. Right now we are having to watch him extremely closely so he doesn't hurt himself or someone else. We are debating taking him to Akron Children's Hospital for an actual psych hold. Since he is medically stable we now have to look at psychological stability.

Finally got a new article up. This will begin my review of our Cleveland Clinic experience. "Crisis: A review of the Cleveland Clinic Part 1"

I have been doing the special needs parenting thing for almost 10 years now.  One thing I have learned is that most of my life is out of my control. No matter how much I desperately want to help my wife and kids I can't make anything better. I pray every night and ask God to please remove these burdens they are forced to carry and give them to me. Every morning I wake up to the fact that either he's not listening or what I ask for simply isn't possible. As a father and husband I feel (admittidly unrealistically) that I should be able to make things better for them. The fact that I can't fix this eats me alive inside. As I sit here writing this Gavin is walking into…

So if you see my mind running around please let me know because I've lost it. This is not going to be a fun part of our journey. Gavin is back on the Lithium but is still very manic right now. He doesn't stop talking about pointless things. I don't mean that in a bad way but he feels he has to tell us EVERY SINGLE thought that runs through his head. He has also lost a ton of motor control so he is falling over and walking into things (like walls). As frustrating as it is for me I cannot imagine how frustrating it is for him. Everyone has paid a very high price this past week. Gavin is literally in emotional pieces. He is completely lost right now.…

Today is winding down to a close. It has been a day. Gavin behaved for the most part but he is really struggling. He is literally walking into walls. We spoke with Dr. R for about an hour on the phone and basically we toss out what we were told this past week. They treated Gavin medically and not psychologically. We are avoiding anti-psychotic medications but we are treating the bipolar. Dr.R says this has no impact on the movement issues. He doesn't understand why we wouldn't treat the bipolar because clearly it's a problem and a major safety issue. So we start back in the morning on Lithium. That will help Gavin tremendously. Dr.R is one of the dew people we have learned to trust. There are only a…

Gavin has been home for 12 hrs and we are already having issues. Last night he saw a plane and told ER it was a UFO. Then he told ER about how alien abduction. So ER had nightmares again. Gavin is and will remain unmedicated because the risk involved in mediating him is now to great. The Cleveland Clinic said we have to wait at least 8 weeks before we can look at meds again. He is a mess and I mean it. He needed to come home because they were done with what they could do and we couldn't afford to be decided between here and there. It was almost $100 +/- per trip. Gavin was getting into the routine of getting what he wanted when he wanted it.…

EJ and I just got home from Cleveland. Gavin is being released tonight but we waited for 7 hours to talk to the doctors. Both of the kids were there and I needed to get EJ home cause he was having tummy issues and went through all the clothes we packed. ER refused to leave without Gavin so he stayed with Lizze. Gavin is unmedicated and will be returning that way. I called to check on them and Gavin as screaming because Lizze turn the violent cartoon off he had put on and changed the channel to something else. This is the first time he didn't get his way in the last week and he exploded and apparently began hurting himself. One thing that concerns me besides the medication issues…