ER had his first day of year round pre-school today. I was so worried about how this would go but he had a great day. He likes his teachers and classmates. He didn't like the "carrots and green stuff" that were served with lunch. I can't express how much relief I felt knowing it went well for him. He should do even better tomorrow as he knows what to expect. We really didn't see much in the way of breaks today and Gavin had appointments we needed to attend. We won't have a break tomorrow either as Gavin has bloodwork. At least ER had a good day.

Gavin went to see Dr. R this morning. Here's the dime store version. Gavin can no longer take anti-psychotics safely. Dr. R isn't comfortable with Gavin being on them for right now at least. As we suspected Gavin is EXTREMELY manic and the current does of Lithium is working. He has bloodwork in the AM to get his levels and Dr. R will adjust as needed. The problem we face now is that Gavin will not be properly medicated. I don't know how we are going to survive this going forward. I'm greatly concerned about how this is going to effect everyone. School starts soon for him and I don't see that going well. That's the run down for where we are with Gavin at this point. I pray he…

My heart has been broken tonight. We went to visit Elliott Richards new school this evening. Everything was went real well. Then we went into the classroom to meet the teachers. Most of his classmates were there. Everyone was playing together. Elliott Richard was off by himself and for the first time I saw him as an Autistic child. It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears in front of him and everyone else. I tried so hard not to cry. I eventually had to go outside to get some air. I knew Elliott Richard had sensory and anxiety issues but for some reason I never saw what was behind them. If I am to be honest, ER is my weakness. I am the closest to…

Well today's my 32nd Birthday and I now have 61 subscribers to my examiner page. I was hoping for 50 by today but you guys exceeded my expectations. I would like to say thank you to everyone for helping to support the Lost and Tired family this way. If you haven't yet subscribed (for free) and would like to click on the "Support the Lost and Tired Family" at the top of this page for instructions. I haven't been writing as much as I used to. Basically, things are pretty bad right now and I haven't had the energy to write about everything. I'm going to make an effort to fix this because even if it's depressing to read (and it is) I want people to know what life is…

Gavin is causing everyone grief. He has Elliott Richard so scared (from all the stories and thoughts he shares with him) that he won't be by himself even for a minute. Elliott Richard won't even use the bathroom because he's so afraid. This is when the whole adopted child vs biological child comes into play for me. Gavin is causing ER to be in distress. I know I would be just as upset if Gavin was my bio child but the fact is he's not. Everything in me is telling me to make ER and EJ safe and I can't find a way to do that with Gavin here. His problems have sucked the life out of this family and now EJ is following in his footsteps. EJ has become…

We are quickly approaching the point where Gavin needs to go back to the hospital. He has lost touch with reality and talking to people that aren't there. He is have both audio and visual hallucinations again. The facial ticks have returned and he is being weaned off the meds he was on. This presents a major problem because he gets worse as the meds are removed. It's a double edged sword. He is living almost completely in his imagination anymore and it's actually very confusing and frustrating for everyone. He's also afraid that we are going to send him back. We explained that it wasn't a punishment but he doesn't get that. He is telling Elliott that if he has anymore meltdowns that someone is going to come and…

I'm sharing this because I think it's important for people to understand just how bad things can get when dealing with Autism. Things are really bad now. Gavin is pushing us to the brink of insanity. All he does is talk nonstop. He has no control over it now but I'm to the point I don't want to hear his voice. His movement issues have resurfaced once again and seem to be getting worse each day. The doc's are cut his meds back slowly already in response. However, he was on an extremely low dose of medication. This isn't good as it make it even more difficult to medicate him going forward. Emmett John is becoming more aggressive towards Elliott Richard and more destructive in general. He screams all the…

So in the span of the 30 minutes Emmett John has broken both my xbox 360 and Lizze's netbook. I'm so tired of not being able to have anything safe in this house. I know it sound petty and selfish but the 360 was all I had left. I have sold everything  else of any value in order to take care of my family. I'm not complaining about having to that because I wanted to. My family comes first but sometimes it's nice to have something like that to escape life with for a little while. Emmett John is driving me crazy because he is into EVERYTHING. There are very few places in this house he cannot get to. If you stop or correct him he just screams and screams…