I have been sitting here trying to distract myself from the idea of going to bed and not having Lizze there next to me. Last night I suggested to Lizze that maybe this would be good for her. I wan't trying to push her out but I need her to get better. And to be completely honest what she is experiencing is very destabilizing and very, very fine balance we have been trying to maintain. I don't think it was good or even healthy for any of us to continue down that road. This isn't going to be easy but I don't see any other option. Lizze was not going to survive if she continued to be subjected to the extreme levels of stress. I honestly don't know how she…

After a lot of talk we decided that Lizze was going to go live with her parents for a little while. I want to be very clear that we are not having problems. It's simply a matter of her survival. She is not doing well and the stress is literally causing her body to turn on itself. I fucking hate this but I don't know what else we can do. She is in so much pain all the time and the stress of everything is making it untreatable. Stress is the worst thing in the world for a person living with fibro. The kids were picking up on Lizze's stress and it was creating more chaos for them. She has given so freely of herself for so long that she…

Emmett finally starts speech therapy next week. This is long overdue and desperately needed...

Psychotic simply means losing touch with reality. We all see things on TV about psychotic people but in our "real life" dealings with psychosis this is largely what we find. This is a brief video of a conversation I had with Gavin before Emmett interrupted. It's really easy to say this is just his imagination but it goes so far beyond that. He truly doesn't know that these things are not real. He says the words "imagination" or "imaginary friends" because he knows that what everyone wants to hear. Again this is just a small very short example of what we are dealing with. I want to address any common misconceptions about psychosis. Psychotic people don't always go out and kill or hurt people like we see on TV. In many cases they…

We have come to a point where the stress is so high in this house that I'm concerned Lizze can't get better here. Stress is a huge problem with fibro patients. It appears that everyone is effecting everyone else. I need to break the cycle of none of us will survive.. Lizze is clearly at her breaking point. She has far to much on here plate. She needs to worry about getting back on her feet and living in this house makes that impossible, especially with Emmett. We dicussed it and she might try to go stay with family at least until after her surgery. This isn't ideal by any stretch of the word but we need her to get well and that won't happen with everything going here. Plus…

Gavin goes on Monday for the lumbar puncture. He should be in and out in the same day. So now we just wait till Monday. They are calling me back today with th exact time... Posted from WordPress for Android

Things are really getting bad. Gavin has simply lost touch with reality. He is talking about things that aren't making sense. He is interacting with "imaginary" friends as though they are really there. This goes far beyond the typical imaginary friends. I just heard back from the neurologist at the Cleveland Clinic and they are going to try to book the OR as an emergancy. They are going to try to get this done right away. That puts us in a huge bind cause he will probably be there for at least 24 hours. One of us will have to be there. It can't be Lizze (for obvious reasons) and it can't be me cause there is no one to take the kids.... They may also want to admit him…

A lot has happend in the last 24 hours since my last post. for starters Gavin was "sick" last night. I say "sick" and not sick cause with him you just never know. After he went to bed he came downstairs and told us he was sick. He said his stomach was hurting all day and his head was pounding. He had no fever and was running around playing yesterday as though nothing was wrong. I asked him to lay in bed on his tummy and hug his pillow. That always works for me and I thought maybe the power of suggestion might help out. He was convinced he had to vommitt. This is what he has always done. We down play the need to vommitt and just make him…