I never in a million years thought I would EVER be having this conversation with one of my kids. Does this sounds familiar at all to anyone? This is NOT his imagination. This is what a psychotic episode is like. Hopefully this will help Dr. R to decide what we need to do. If anyone has seen this type of behavior please let me know. I'm at a complete loss. This is what has happened in the past except now he seems to be able to articulate the experience better. To me this is another psychotic break, meaning he has lost touch with reality. He did go to sleep after his Ativan and is resting for now. Please know that I was flying blind here. I didn't know what to…

Emmett and I watching Ponyo on the couch.... A rare moment of "sorta" peace and quiet....

One of the things we struggle with is getting the kids to eat healthier. They each have texture and or color issues with food. I have found that allowing them to make a smoothie seems to "override" some of the sensory issues. I can sneak all kinds of veggies in there. Anyone else have success with this???

We are calling Dr. R first thing in the morning. Gavin is just "not right". Something is just off with him right now, more so then usual. Maybe he's just adjusting to the meds (we haven't seen him adjust to meds in a really long time). He's at the point of literally walking into walls. We can barely understand him and his memory is shot. Maybe it's just the med change (increase) but that was a few days ago and this just started.  I can't see a way out of this without a hospital stay. The movements are becoming an issue again also. I can say that I quite literally HATE these situations. There is no clear path to take. Any choice we make will have a very high cost…

I thought it might be helpful for me to get a few things off my chest. I carry around enough stress on a daily basis that I don't need to burden myself with more then I have to. I also want everyone to see what happens to many special needs families like mine. Maybe you can learn something from me and use it to avoid this from happening to you. Please note I have a very narrow focus for this post. This is not directed at my parents or in-laws. Confessions of a special needs parent: I'm angry, hurt, resentful and just plain PISSED OFF... I'm the oldest of 6 kids.and my confession is that I feel we have been abandoned by them.  I have been there for EVERY SINGLE…

Gavin is continuing to struggle even after the final adjustment to his anti-psychotics. He is starting to see things during the day and not just at night. Well, at least he's telling us about it now.  He is falling up the stairs and dropping things more frequently. His speech is becoming more difficult to understand as well. I don't see a way we can avoid a hospital stay at this point. We can't "not" send him because we feel bad doing it. He has a right to a quality of life much higher then the one he's currently experiencing. As his parents we have to make the choice to set aside our personal needs and wants in order to ensure this happens. The guilt will be there reguardless and we're…

Today has been exhausting on a number of levels. I drove over 200 miles today and my back is killing me.. We had to drive about 85 miles (one way) to a meeting this morning as part of the study that Emmett is involved in called Project Bridge. Today was our first "group" meeting. Basically, we meet with a few other families and interventionist (so to speak) and share our experience and learn new techniques to help better relate, communicate and even integrate into our Autistic children's world. The families we met today were really nice.  Honestly, it was slightly uncomfortable for me, not because of anyone there but because we so rarely come into personal contact with other families similar to ourselves. I really enjoyed hearing little snippets of…

Of course I wouldn't really quit. The truth is, sometimes I just get so completely overwhelmed that I wish I could. I feel helpless, hopeless and Lost and Tired. It feels like there isn't any further down I could sink but I know I will eventually sink further. It's difficult to articulate exact what reaching that point feels like. I'll just say that it sucks..... You also have to understand how bad of a day yesterday was. We drove 100 miles just taking the boys to and from school. We were trying to get ready for Emmett's sleep which we ended up rescheduling. The van was having major issues on the freeway the other day and I knew I needed to get that fixed. Then Lizze informs me that her…