I have helped you learn a lot about my family over the past year or so but I never really delve into what makes me tick. I thought is was important to share some things that make me.....well...me. I don't remember if I ever said anything about this or not but I'm dealing with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) mostly due to everything I saw while working as a paramedic. I never really spoke with anyone about these things as most simply won't understand. Some of the things I saw, most people simply could never imagine. The calls involving children haunt me the most. I will NEVER forget what it feels like to perform CPR on a child that I already knew was gone because I didn't know what else…

I may be stressed out and that's an understatement but I just want to say that the typos are a result of blogging mostly from my phone. This blog is done "almost" entirely from my Nexus S 4G Android smartphone by Samsung. The problem is the dang auto-correct. It's...how shall I put this...ummmmm.....less then accurate at times. So while I may be a bit out of it, I not babbling incoherently over here....at least not yet :-) I try to catch these things as they happen but some of the words are changed after I type the intended word out and move on. Smartphone are convenient but not perfect. There....I feel better having explained that. ;-)    

Gavin is having a bit of a hard time as of late. He is making choices that are causing people (Elliott and Emmett) to get hurt. Last night he slammed the door in Emmett's face, literally. He didn't want Emmett to disrupt Elliott playing the DSi (which translates to Gavin being able to watch). So he raced past Emmett and then as Emmett was walking into the room, Gavin slammed the door on him, hitting him in the face. Yesterday, Gavin playing basketball in the dining room and ran Emmett over racing him to the ball.  Today, while at ACH, Gavin did the same thing to Emmett while again in the play room. This time he shoved Emmett into the wall while racing past him. This is getting old REAL…

We are waiting to be called back to see the doctor. Gavin is NOT listening and I'll post about what he's doing later. Emmett is playing with the toys and watching the fish. This is just a follow up for him so nothing invasive plush his problems have cleared up as well. Yeah Emmett. On a side note I had to explain to Elliott that his brothers were going to the poop doctor :-) - Lost and Tired Please Vote for Lost and Tired (just click the link) and help me spread Autism Awareness. Everyone can Vote once a day :)

This morning we have the gastorinterologist on the agenda. Emmett will be having a follow up and Gavin will be having an initial consult. Both appointments are at Akron Children's Hospital around 10am this morning. Hopefully, this won't take long as it appears Emmett is in "a mood" this morning and most likely won't tolerate the time spent there today. There is no end in sight to these appointments and as we go forward we will be adding more to the list, the newest of which is the feeding clinic. - Lost and Tired Please Vote for Lost and Tired (just click the link) and help me spread Autism Awareness. Everyone can Vote once a day :)

So I have been preoccupied lately with worrying about things are aren't really a problem. These past 10 years have begun taking their toll on me. Sometimes I find it harder to cope with life then others. The past few days have been some of the tougher days I can remember. I have been raising Gavin for the better part of a decade now and it hasn't been easy. The stress just seems to build up over time and come to a head during times like this where I just feel buried. I worry about stuff that is tangible because most of the rest of our lives is outside of my control. I'm trying to develop better coping skills as I'm sure that will help. Sometimes though, life just really…

So the boys didn't want to go see Dr. Patti tonight so I am here by myself. I'm honestly a bit stressed out at the moment but hopefully I can get myself centered. I'm supposed to meet up with my Dad later to walk a few miles tonight. Hopefully that will happen and help as well. - Lost and Tired Please Vote for Lost and Tired (just click the link) and help me spread Autism Awareness. Everyone can Vote once a day :)

I was reflecting the other day on all I have learned from my children as a special needs father over the years.   My Autistic children have taught me: 1) True, complete unconditional love exists. 2) How to be patient in the most challenging and frustrating of situations. 3) To ALWAYS keep trying and NEVER give up. 4) I should ALWAYS appreciate the "little" things. 5) NEVER take ANYTHING for granted. 6) To be a better person and more "in tune" with my surroundings. 7) How truly meaningful a hug or kiss can be. 8 ) How to overcome seemingly, insurmountable odds. 9) ALWAYS stand up for what is right, even if I'm the only one. 10) NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.