This post was not easy to write but I hope it benefits someone out there that may be in a similar boat and needs help. Hopefully, my honesty will help you to realize that you are not alone :-) I need help........   I have been going through some things lately. I have, for a while now, been.....preoccupied with my own mortality. It has become more and more difficult to manage these feelings.......actually, more like fears, anymore. I feel like my life is over or I'm dying and it's a HORRIBLE feeling. The rational side of me knows that my life has really only just begun. However, there is another part of me that chooses to embrace these feelings of despair. I guess embrace is the wrong choice of words...more like…

Gavin has been vomiting all morning. We arent exactly sure why either. I suspect that it has something to do with the bowel issues. I'm thinking that the bowel prep wasn't enough to clean him out. The doc said that if it doesn't work we have to call them and do it again. We are going to have to do that first thing in the morning as I don't think they are in the office due to the holiday. He seems to be feeling better and so I think we will be find, at this point anyway, waiting till the morning. Nothing is ever easy here.....sigh - Lost and Tired Post by Wordpress for Android via Nexus S 4G with out the use of proper editing tools and auto-correct. Please…

For whatever reason Emmett has been screaming ALL morning. When I say sreaming, I mean ear piercing and headache inducing screaming. I have no idea what's behind this but we need to figure it out. I don't know if he's in pain or just overwhelmed. This is when I find the speech and language delays to be the most frustrating. I want to help him but I don't know how because he can't tell me what's wrong. Helpless doesn't quite say it....

Emmett has been having more and more "Autistic days" as we call them. These are days where he screams a great deal more the usual.  He also seems to MUCH more sensory oriented as well. We call them "Autistic says" because on these days his symptoms are much more profound and more significantly affect him....and us for that matter. We haven't really found a pattern for these days and there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why the occur. We have been noticing more and more of these days lately and I'm not sure why. Maybe he's still adjusting to the boys being home most of the time now. I'm not sure what else it could be as everything else is basically the same. It's honestly very…

I just want to wish everyone a very safe and happy July 4th. We will probably keep things low key and sensory friendly nut that doesn't mean we can't still have fun. We are starting our by having brunch at my parents house and then probably coming home and doing a few things around the house. Tomorrow evening, hopefully the kids can sit out on the second floor balcony and watch the fireworks. Maybe even catch a fresh batch of fireflies....who knows. Please stay safe and if you are gonna be drinking, PLEASE don't drive. Enjoy the July 4th festivities. - Lost and Tired Post by Wordpress for Android via Nexus S 4G with out the use of proper editing tools and auto-correct. Please Vote for Lost and Tired (just…

Tonight I cut my walk shot in order to spend some extra time with Gavin and Elliott. I wanted them to experience the magic of catching fireflies. Elliott has never done that and while I can't give him much at least I could give him that. Gavin has caught fireflies many times already so he was a pro. Elliott wasn't sure of what to do as they kinda freaked him out just a bit and he refused to touch them. He did warm up and start catching them on sticks and putting them in the jar. Even Lizze got in on the action and really had fun. Emmett was already sleeping but he would he loved this. These are the moments that I will look back on as one of…

I need to come clean about something. I realize this may come as a shock to you all but....I'm an......overprotective parent. There I said it. I am an overprotective parent. Man, that feels good to get out. The truth is that I don't mean to be overprotective, I just love and worry about my kids so much. I have seen too many things happen and I know how the world treats kids that are "different". I'm worried that trying to shield them from some of life's "unpleasantries" is robbing them of invaluable experience. However, at the same time, isn't it our job as their parents to protect them from all that we can? I mean, after all, our kids are Autistic, and more sensitive to things....right? They are more prone…

This has been kinda bugging me for a while, well actually, more like driving me crazy. Gavin has this "thing" where he drags himself along the walls and mantel. I'm guessing it's a sensory thing but who knows. Anyway, the problem with this is more the mantel then anything else. When he drags himself along the mantel he quite often knocks things off of said mantel and onto the floor. I was wondering if any of you see similar things? I have always chalked it up to simply Autism and it's sometime odd behavior.  However, I'm starting to wonder if there is more to this then just "odd behavior"? It's almost like some weird kind of navigation or something. Am I the only one seeing these things?