I'm gonna be real honest here and tell you that Gavin is driving be plumb loco.  We're talking beat my head into the wall just to make it all stop. He doesn't listen and I honestly don't know if he's even capable of listening anymore.  I realize how that sounds but I swear to God that he just never seems to learn or follow directions. At times it seems as though he's just not capable of following even the simplest of directions. I'm sooooo friggin tired of repeating myself.  It would be easier and far less exhausting to just yell at him when he doesn't listen.  However,  I don't do that,  as I feel yelling at him would only be setting a bad example and teaching him that yelling is…

Gavin has been meltdown free for the past 3 days.  However,  his attitude has been unpleasant and his treatment of Lizze has been unacceptable. The way he talks to her really make me sad and extremely upset. We had been very carefully picking our battles the past few days because we really enjoyed the lack of violent outbursts.  Today however,  was the last straw. He wasn't listening all morning and when Lizze would tell him to do something,  he would give her a hard time. Finally I had had it.  Whether any of us like it or not,  his little brothers look up to him and mimic is behavior.  I can't let his attitude and treatment of his mother go unchallenged.  I informed him that he would not be allowed…

Today’s Victory goes to Sir Elliott and Prince Emmett.  They were snuggling on the couch for a little while this afternoon playing 3DS. While it didn't last very long,  they were getting along well and it was nice to see that. 

Everyone knows that having to discipline your child is often very unpleasant. We do it because we want our kids to learn from their mistakes and move forward. What happens though,  if your child never seems to learn from their mistakes? This appears to be the case my son Gavin. He honestly never learns from his mistakes. He does the same things,  over and over again. It's extremely frustrating for all involved and made discipline next to impossible. It doesn't matter how we hold him accountable or how many times we explain things,  he makes the same choices almost every time. To me,  discipline is only effective if it works.  In Gavin’s case,  nothing works and we are constantly having to shift gears and think outside the box. Every specialist…

People ask me all the time,  "how do you do it?"  The truth is,  I don't know. I don't know how I keep going. Having said that,  I have three really good reasons to keep doing it.  These guys are my motivation for everything in my life. At the end of the day,  I love to check in on them while their sleeping.  It's just one of those priceless and peaceful moments that only seem to come out at night. I totally live for these guys....

I thought I would take a minute and update you all on how I'm doing.  It's been a while since I talked about my battle with depression. My personal war with depression is still raging on. Every day is a battle for control.  The depression wants control over me but I do everything possible to stay in control of it. With everything we have going on, keeping ahead of the depression is vital to moving forward.  In order to do that,  I take my medications (Paxil,  40mg per day) and really,  really try to exercise every day. I have my blog and maintaining it is extremely therapeutic.  Sharing our story from my perspective allows me to unload all of my feelings and leave it here.  By doing so,  it allows…

Today,  we had a really quiet,  peaceful and memorable moment.  Both of the younger boys wanted to snuggle Daddy at the same time.  Typically,  this can lead to a fight but they did really well and that's awesome.  These moments are definitely much lighter than many others.  I live for these moments because it reminds me of when they were babies and we didn't know any of the things we know own now.  It was just peaceful moments, find with hope for the future.