Dicipline in the Lost and Tired household is extremely important.  Many kids on the autism spectrum benefit from strict routine,  predictably,  structure,  boundaries and dicipline. Gavin is our oldest and most complex child.  There are so many pieces to him that it's extremely difficult to know what to do or how to dicipline him.  The problem is that nothing works more than a few times.  We have tried so many different things and while many of them worked,  once or twice,  they failed the test of time. The only thing that we have ever had success with is oatmeal.  Basically,  we swap out oatmeal for whatever meal he's supposed to have.  This was suggested by MST.  And at home behavioral modification professional. We aren't withholding food from him.  We are…

I just wanted to share with you all how grateful I am that Bella came into our lives. She has become the best friend to a little boy you really needed a friend. Even though she's a dog,  she has helped Emmett to overcome so many obstacles in his life. She can be a pain in the butt, however, in this fathers opinion,  it's totally worth it. She's the first thing Emmett sees in the morning and the last thing he sees at night.  When we arrive home after a trip to the store,  he gives her a really big hug.  It just warms my heart to know that he has someone like this in his life.  :-) Do any of your kids have a friend like Bella?  Not all…

Things went down hill fairly quickly this morning. Gavin decided that it would be a good idea if he told his little anxiety prone brothers about a dream he had.  In this dream,  Gavin was attacked by a robot with spinning blades instead of hands.  Apparently,  at some point I this dream,  the Gavin's hands were chopped off his arms by the spinning blades of the robot. This was told to the boys in graphic detail. This really freaked Elliott and Emmett out and they were pretty stressed out about it. Elliott approached me and told me that Gavin had shared a dream with him again.  When I called Gavin down to tell Lizze and I about the dream,  he refused. This was my first inclination that things were not…

When you are a parent to an exceptionally challenging child,  life is full of tough decisions.  One of the toughest is picking your battles. Essentially,  picking your battles means that carefully select when it's best to simply let something go instead of addressing it.  The consistent thing to do would be to directly address the problem.  Having said that,  sometimes it's best for everyone else,  to let it slide.  Every day,  in the Lost and Tired household,  I have to pick my battles. This is not easy to do but has become a necessary evil. The truth is that sometimes the fallout just isn't worth it. Think of it like a strategic retreat. It's frustrating because it feels like we have to choose between doing the right thing and living…

I wanted to take a minute,  before I fall asleep,  to say thank you.  Thank you for all the support you showed my family while Gavin was in the hospital. That was a very trying time for us and still is. We are still coping with the fallout.  Elliott and Emmett are still very overestimated and Elliott's anxiety is through the roof. We are trying to continue moving forward and will take life,  one day at a time. All your thoughts and prayers have been received and we're greatly appreciated.  Thank you so much for all the e-cards you showered Gavin with.  It was amazing seeing the outpouring of support for Gavin in the form of e-cards. We see you all as an extension of the Lost and Tired family.…

I want to take a minute and wish my most amazing wife Lizze,  a happy birthday.  She does so much for our family that there is really no way to ever thank her for everything. My goal is to take her out next week,  after payday. It will likely never happen for a 1,000,001 different reasons. Such is life.  Lizze,  regardless of what happens,  I want you to know how much you mean to us.  Not a day goes by that I'm not grateful that you were born. We are so lucky to have you in our lives and I'm forever grateful for having met you,  even we can't agree on when our first date was. Happy Birthday to my best friend and mother of my children.  :-)  I love…

We had Tuesday night therapy with Dr.  Pattie tonight.  The topic for tonight was,  of course Gavin.  We also talked about Elliott and Emmett as well because they are both stressed out to the max.  They both love and feat their big brother Gavin,  and that's very difficult for them.  We say Gavin down and spoke with him about his behavior.  He immediately launched into the victim role but neither Lizze,  myself or Dr.  Pattie would bite.  We once again reinforced how much we love him and that we are only trying to help.  We explained that we are doing these things because if this behaviors continues as he gets older,  he'll end up getting arrested.  We absolutely don't want to see that happen. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking to…

I'm writing this post because I believe that we have reached a point in Gavin's life where but has become very clear that nature has won.  For those of you unfamiliar with nature vs nurture here's the best way I can explain it. Gavin's biological father is sociopath.  Most,  if not all of Gavin's psychological issues were genetic birthday presents,  from his biological father,  Nick.  The aspergers is likely linked to Lizze,  just to be fair. Without intervention,nature would like haveGavingrow up to be like Nick.  However, we had always hoped that by nurturing Gavin and providing unconditional love and support, we would be able to derail that plans that nature had in store for him. Does that make sense? Having said that, I want to make it clear that…