Blog - Page 120 of 1611

I lost my cool tonight

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually feeling good-ish about myself. Selfcare is a priority again, even if it's not perfect, I'm doing my best to work with what I got. Today was a pretty decent day. The kids drove me crazy, but that's par for the course. ☺ Everything actually went mostly okay. I even got my recording equipment almost working. When the cables arrive today, I should be good to go. Hopefully it will be in time for my interview today but if not, I'll manage. The meeting tonight with Lizze, her mom and the kids therapist was actually fairly productive. At the very end, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and I unloaded. While I will not apologize for how…

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October 17, 2019

My thoughts

It’s been a frustrating couple of days but……

It's been a frustrating couple of days but also kinda exciting. The kids are beginning to stay afloat for the most part and while school seems to be going better-ish, Elliott's not sleeping and Emmett is very much struggling with impulse control, like a lot. It's probably an ADHD and anxiety combo but it's proving difficult to manage. At least he's doing well at school. I'd rather have issues at home than at school. We had a very emotional therapy session last night and I meet with Lizze, Pattie and my amazing (and I mean that) mother in law tonight to hash some things out. Hopefully, this will prove a positive thing and everyone benefits from it, especially the kids. ☺ As for the exciting part of things, the boys…

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October 16, 2019

My thoughts

Fingers crossed

Not sure how today is going to go. The boys are moving very slowly and Emmett's saying that he doesn't feel well. I've got lunches made and the car warming up but I don't know what's going on just yet. Emotionally the boys seem to be doing a little bit better or so I thought. Truthfully, very much like me, they're going to have good days and bad days. I'm hoping that we're still a go for school today. I have therapy myself this afternoon and if any of the kids are home from school, I'll have to reschedule. Fingers crossed...

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October 15, 2019

My thoughts

I finally feel like I’ve put some checks in the win column

We've had a pretty good day. There have been some challenges but we made it through. I wanted to share a couple highlights from today before I go to bed. First of all, I was able to set up a temporary area in my bedroom, where I can record podcast episodes and interview guests remotely. The equipment is relatively basic but the recording quality will be increasing significantly moving forward. Also, I thought it would be cool to help my kids find their own voice and create regular or semi-regular episodes with each of my kids. All have expressed interest but Emmett is all in. Today he was practicing using the equipment and figuring out his voice. My thought is to create shorter, weekly episodes with my kids, on a…

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October 14, 2019

Emmett John / My Quotes / New Beginnings

I’m heartbroken that he thought this

Emmett has been sleeping in my room since his mom left. He's afraid that if he's not right there, he could wake up and I'll be gone as well. There's no way to really navigate this in the short-term and it's going to take time and patience for him to heal. That's said, he informed me last week that he wanted to be back in his own bed this week. Originally, his goal was the end of the year and we're working in therapy to help him through this. Anyway, this past weekend rolls around and he begins having tummy aches again. I figured it was anxiety related but wasn't sure about the specifics. Turns out that he was okay moving his clothes back into his and Elliott's bedroom but…

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October 14, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

It’s scary, frustrating, overwhelming, and also necessary

I mentioned in recent post that I was overwhelmed. If you've been reading for any length of time, that shouldn't be breaking news. I'm overwhelmed and frustrated for a million different reasons. I thought I would expand upon that some and help you better understand where I'm coming from. I know there will be people out there who totally get and some that don't. That's okay. For the life of me, I can't get the house caught up. By the time I'm in a position to get anything done I'm too exhausted to do anything. I'm crashing by 10 PM on most nights. There are so many things that need to get done but I'm either lacking the time, energy or resources to get them done. I want to do…

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October 14, 2019

My thoughts / New Beginnings

I took a big step towards reclaiming my life today

Moving forward is very hard for me. I'm dealing with the loss of someone who's been a huge part of my life for literally half of my life. It's a process made more complicated because of how hard the kids are struggling with all of this. I'm with them all the time and seeing them in pain makes this so much harder for me. It's hard to grieve when I'm talking care of everyone else. Today I decided that I needed to take a big step forward. This may not seem like a huge deal but it wasn't easy for me. I did some rearranging today in order to make my bedroom mine once again. As a single Dad, I don't need two large dressers in my room, so I…

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October 13, 2019

My thoughts

I won’t be perfect but I’ll be better

I slept surprisingly well. Elliott is sleeping in and Emmett is up and working on his puzzle. I'm just getting moving myself but I feel much better than I did last night. I was so upset with myself for not handling Elliott better than I did but a good night's sleep has helped me to gain some perspective. Look, I'm about as far from perfect as a human being can get and I'm going to make mistakes. While I'm not proud of my actions last night, all I did was raise my voice. I didn't belittle him or anything along those lines. I was just frustrated and I lost my cool. It's going to happen. Anyway, I feel like today is a brand new day and I'm going to simply…

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October 13, 2019