We just got home from Gavin's martial arts promotion.  Gavin did really well and I will have pictures up when I can.  Right now, we have a problem.  It looks like Gavin is in another autonomic crisis.  After promotion we got spend some time with him in his classroom.  He didn't look good to me and I asked him to check his heart rate.  He did and it was 50 bpm, standing up.  That would explain why he was so shaky and pale. I had him sit down and take it again.  This time his heart rate shot all the way back up to 138 bpm. That's almost a 100 bpm difference. That's not good at all.  Your body is supposed to compensate when you transition between sitting and standing. …

Lizze and I have found ourselves in a position where we aren't sure what the right thing to do is. Normally these positions revolve around Gavin but this time it's Elliott. As many of you know, Elliott has aspergers and severe anxiety.  He's been through a great deal in his life, especially in the last month or so. This week at school is martial arts promotion and the schools annual Christmas program. Elliott wants nothing to do both either.  Promotion is actually this afternoon around 2pm. However, that conflicts with Elliott's weekly OT appointment. At this point, Elliott is doesn't want to miss OT. He's also dead set on not participating in the Christmas show his classroom is putting on this Thursday. As his parent, I'm at a loss as…

It's been awhile since my last confession. Having said that, I reached a milestone that I'm not proud of and I want to share this with all of you.  My goal with this is to continue opening a window into our lives but also, help someone if they happen to be dealing with the same thing. I mentioned that I have reached a milestone. That milestone is my physical weight and I'm not happy with it at all. 10 years ago I was body building and in excellent physical condition.  Between life happening, my poor coping skills and lack of motivation, I have reached 294lbs. Now, I don't necessarily look that heavy because of my previous body building but I certainly feel it.  To be completely honest, I'm ashamed and…

Elliott slept pretty well last night. He snuggled with Dean and slept through the night. Dean and Sam have been rather elusive lately and so he was happy to be reunited with his friend. Perhaps that helped to make today begin on a positive note. 

I wanted to mention this because hopefully, it's a good sign for what the rest of the week will be like. Elliott has been struggling with life lately.  As a little boy with aspergers and significant anxiety, he's unable to cope well with everything that has been happening within our life.  He's still upset about Gavin not living with us right now and understandably so. His recent diagnosis of food allergies as eliminated a huge part of his diet because it contains tree nuts. What happens is that Elliott copes with this by trying to exert as much control over his life as possible. This presents as refusal to do things like eating and even cooperating. Lately, we have been having a really hard time getting him ready for school. …