Maybe this is a dumb question but do you folks ever just feel so burned out from everything that you can’t imagine doing this much longer?
I feel like that at times and I think it’s pretty normal to feel that way.
The problem is that once I get to a certain point, it’s really hard to keep motivating myself to go on. It’s like the moment I lose my footing or drop the ball, everything just piles up so fast and walls close in around me. There’s almost no way to recover in time.
Maybe it’s just me but the world seems very unsympathetic to my plight. I’m referring to the outside world, not people that actually get it.
I think it could be helpful for those of us feeling this way to maybe share how we survive these more difficult days. There are a great many people just starting out on this journey and maybe we could help them to navigate the more difficult times.
**Thanks for reading**
-Lost and Tired
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Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive any typos as auto-correct and I don’t see eye to eye. 🙂
It's very hard not get burned out keeping up this pace with special needs. I've probably been fried for the last year or so now…and I have a few of my own health problems I'm dealing with. I just get grumpy and irritable :@ …and vent-text my friends, the few that will listen to me and sympathize. I have an aging elderly parent I'm starting to stress over too and my husband is working two jobs to make ends meet, so I go it alone a lot. But…what else would I do with my life…? I really wouldn't think anything else I'd do would be as needed as what I do now…so I take a deep breath, have a few outlets, and push on. It's hard to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel….but every once in a while a little light shines through….and it lightens my load just a bit.
My recent post Easter Octave
Very well said. That\’s actually quite inspirational. Thank you for sharing that. 🙂
I feel this way quite often. To help, I started blogging and reading the blogs of others who are going through similar experiences. It helped to know that I was not alone. It was also a way to connect with people without having to schedule something else into our already hectic lives. I started seeing a therapist. It helps me to talk to someone who is not related to me in any way — who can be truly objective and non-judgmental. I try to get 12 minutes of exercise everyday. Even if all I do is jumping jacks in my bedroom (or the kitchen, or the parking lot), getting your blood moving in a positive way for the amount of time can make a world of difference in your ability to cope with stress. Otherwise, my mantra is this: If no one is dying and no one is going to jail, I can handle this.
Haha….my rule is "I only want to hear about it if there's blood, smoke, or a badge involved!"
A few years ago, when my precious baby girl was being diagnosed, I felt as though I couldn't go on. I couldn't envision any future that I could be okay with, and I was in a very dark place. The day to day struggles of behaviour, treatment, trying to keep her safe, and trying to figure out how to scrub feces out of everything was drowning me. Then I realized that a big chunk of my stress came from worrying about what comes later on. I worried that I wouldn't be strong enough to do what was needed as things got harder. I worried that she would be dependent and difficult forever. I worried that the money problems that come with the "special needs hand" we were dealt would be insurmountable, and we'd wind up penniless on the street. All of those problems and worries still exist, but I've realized that I can't keep going if I look at all of it at once. So here's the deal I made with myself to keep going on when it feels like I can't take it anymore: Don't try to deal with the whole future right now. Just get through today. If today is too much to ask for, just get through this hour. If this hour is too much to ask, just get through this breath. What is critical in THIS MOMENT? I need to breathe. I need her to breathe. The poop on the wall? It'll still be there in 5 minutes. That bill on the counter isn't going to be any worse in 10 minutes than it is right now. JUST BREATHE. Keep her out of traffic for THIS MINUTE and deal with the other stuff as you can. When the miracle days come along, and all 3 kids are well enough to go to school, you deal with the most critical and fixable things you can. The other thing I've found is that it helps to let people know just how bad things are at your house. Some of the most valuable help I've gotten has come from breaking down when an acquaintance asks "How's things?" Often, that person says "Oh, my wife works at a treatment centre for autistic kids and has some contacts who might be able to help you." or "Oh, did you know about that program that the city offers to help buy communication devices for non-verbal kids?" or "Gee, my son has to do some community service for a boy scout badge. How about he mows your lawn for you?" Sometimes we're too strong for our own good and people think we don't want or need their help, or they don't know what we need or that what they have to offer could save your sanity.
Please know, Rob and family, that I think of you often, and I hope that life gives you the break you need and deserve.
Jenn,
All I can say is wow. You are an inspiration to me. I have nothing but respect for you. Thank you so much for sharing that. You have such a good outlook… Good for you 🙂
Meh. I fake it a lot too. Sometimes, I even convince me! I'm a firefighter/EMT too, and as you know, we learn triage early on! Our world is full of "deal with what is causing catastrophe now, and fill in the 'nice to haves' when you can." I think that working with people who are actively dying in front of you helps you realize that our society places a lot of artificial urgency on things that really CAN wait. I can't count the number of times I've said "I'll call the bank back in an hour when missy is watching TV and I've stopped hyperventilating." or "I'll just close the door to that room and deal with that mess when I get back from picking the boys up from school." I swear, the words "I can only be in one place at a time" will be carved on my tombstone!
Wishing you a calm, healthy day, with calm, cooperative kids!
Jenn
I can honestly say I feel like this all the time these days. I have an Autistic 10yr old and a 13yr old with suspected Aspergers. Not only do I look after them single-handedly (my family don't want to know), but I am also currently looking after my father, who is disabled and developing Dementia, and lives on the other side of town to me (I don't drive), because my mother is in hospital 30miles away, fighting Leukemia. I also have to visit her regularly, to ensure she has a supply of clean clothes, toilettries, etc. All of this I have to fit in between school hours on a daily basis!
On top of that, because the disability agency managed to lose our paperwork, they decided to cut us off financially 3months ago without even informing me, and now my landlord is breathing down my neck because this month's rent is late!!
So yes, I can fully sympathise with you at the minute. x