Today is bittersweet because it’s the first Mother’s Day since Lizze left. The boys aren’t really stressed out about it because to them, it’s just a other day on COVID19 lockdown. Truthfully, it’s better this way because they don’t need anything else to worry about.

It’s bittersweet for me because I always celebrated Mother’s Day. We didn’t always have the money but I tried to make sure we always did something special.

Today is going to be hard for me but that’s okay. Today isn’t about me or how I’m feeling.

This will mark the first time Lizze hasn’t been with her kids on Mother’s Day and I know that’s hurting her. We have our differences and I don’t agree with her decisions but the thought of her being in pain, hurts me.

She’s not seen the kids for over two months now because of lockdown and that’s a huge sacrifice for her.

When the kids get angry that she’s chosen a different path in life that has taken her away, I always tell them that whatever she chooses to do with her life cannot undo all she’s already done. I remind them that she will always be a hero to me because she gave me them. She fought so hard to bring them into this world and I will never forget that.

I’m working very hard to keep my perspective and for the most part I’m doing okay.

I’ve already wished Lizze a happy Mother’s Day and the boys will do the same thing when they wake up. Right now, this is the best we can do because of health related concerns in both our houses and COVID19.

Like I said, it’s bittersweet for me personally but it’s so much harder for her. I wish things were different but we’re trying to come up with creative ways to keep her and the boys in touch. Truthfully, nothing comes close to actually being with them.

On this Mother’s Day I wish her the very best and we will get her and the boys together as soon as it’s safe.

I’d also like to say Happy Mother’s Day to my Mom, sisters in law and mother in law. This is also the first Mother’s Day that I can’t call my grandmother. As I said, bittersweet.