I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed and frustrated tonight. The boys have been at each other’s throats all day and there were a few times where I was very close to reaching the end of my rope.
Emmett is incredibly impulsive right now and it’s difficult to manage that behavior at the moment. Elliott has a very, very short fuse and an opinion about everything. Between the two right now, there’s a constant barrage of challenging situations to navigate.
Gavin is doing pretty well and that’s obviously a good thing. He’s talking incessantly but that’s par for the course with him.
As for me, I’m really struggling. I’m stressed out, overwhemled, frustrated, heartbroken and confused about much of what’s happened. I’m in therapy every Tuesday afternoon and while I enjoy going, I’m not sure how much progress I’m making. I’m so focused on the kids that I’m not really dealing with my own grief. I’m trying to get my head on straight but it’s tough sometimes.
Sooooo someone has to tell you this. You feel grief and fear and loneliness at the loss of your marriage. You feel isolated from adult human contact. But there is a future for you. There is companionship waiting for you. Maybe someone fantastic is just around the corner. (Someone always has to tell the recently-broken-up these things. Because it’s always true.)
It’s tough to get back to dating if you have had a bad experience in your first marriage and you have kids with big needs. But it’s doable and there are women who will be happy to meet you. You have a lot of offer. You are a kind and generous and intelligent person. Don’t forget that. Have a lunch with someone. Coffee. A walk. Maybe you’ll make human contact. Maybe you’ll make a friend. Something good will happen.
Dot,
Sorry it took so long to reply. I really appreciate your kind words and support. I have very low self-esteem to begin with and having this happen for a second time, didn’t help. You’re always such a good friend and I truly appreciate you.