We had a pretty decent night last night. I’m trying to get us into a routine because the more structure I can provide for my kids, the better off they’re going to be. Kids with Autism thrive on structure, routine and predictability. At the moment, their lives are chaos and that’s making a bad situation worse.

Both Elliott and Emmett were struggling this morning, especially Elliott. Elliott’s a mess right now and had a difficult time sleeping because he was so worried about school today.

I don’t know what the right thing to do here is and all I can do is that I feel is best in the moment. It’s for that reason, I kept the kids home today. Having said that, there’s a plan in place to help them move forward and avoid days like today.

I suppose it’s less of a plan and more of a direction. That direction is therapy.

Elliott is finally beginning to open up and he needs to unload everything he’s feeling. We see Pattie later this afternoon and we’re going to figure out a plan to help these guys deal with everything that’s been unfairly thurst upon them. Tomorrow, Elliott will have half a day at school because he sees behavioral health at Akron Children’s. They manage his depression and he’s likely to need some changes to his medication in order to stay ahead of this.

Again, I’m feeling around in the dark here. There’s no instruction manual for things like this and I’m doing the best I can on my own.

I feel there’s a very delicate balance between not pushing them too far and coddling them too much.

They have serious trust issues and I’m very concerned about pushing them too hard. The last thing I need or want is for them to feel that they cannot trust me. Perhaps I’m overcompensating but oh well. Until someone can tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do here, I’m flying blind, and doing the best I can.