I’m having a hard time getting motivated today. The boys and I have been working on Minecraft together, and that was fun. I haven’t got much else done though.

As I’m writing this, it occurred to me that part of the issue is that every day, about this time, I was visiting my grandmother at her nursing home. I’ve been doing that for months. It had become such a huge part of my life, and I sort of built my schedule around seeing her.

Now there’s a void.

Not only do I not get to see her anymore, but I also have the vacuum I need to fill with something else. Unusually I do pretty good with change, but this is a lot of adjustment, and it’s only been a couple of days.

The weather is shitty right now, and I’ve not been able to get out and go walking. I definitely would benefit from that, and as soon as the weather breaks, I’m going to make a run for it.

I need to center myself, and at this point, walking is probably the only thing that’s going to help.

I don’t have a great deal of advice for people trying to cope with the loss of a loved one. All I can say is that it’s important that we remember to take care of ourselves. We need to seek out help if we need it and be willing to talk to someone if it’s helpful.

Autism parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes everything and then some on the very best of days. I’m not living through the best of days at the moment. I really need to remain focused and keep myself moving forward.