I’m massively depressed and I need help

  • Post author:
  • Post comments:51 Comments
  • Reading time:5 mins read
  • Post last modified:March 20, 2019

This maybe my last post for a few days. I have a new pod recorded and ready to go but I need to finish the artwork first. Hopefully, that will go live tomorrow sometime..

My oral surgery is scheduled for 8:30 am on Friday. I’m struggling quite a bit right now and at this point, that struggle runs much deeper than simply facing my fears of having my wisdom teeth removed.

On the surface, I know it’s not a huge deal and I’m not entirely sure why it’s considered major surgery but it sure feels like a huge deal.

As a small child, I had a very traumatic experience involving the oral surgeon. I had a tooth ripped out by our family dog and surgically reimplanted. I wasn’t properly anesthetized and I was restrained (probably cause I wasn’t super cooperative at the time). I felt everything they did until I was finally knocked out.

That spawned a phobia of the dentist and a 25 year period of time that I never went back to the dentist.

I overcame that fear a few months and I’m good now. After 25 years, I only needed to have a previous filling replaced but I did discover I need to lose my wisdom teeth.

My oral surgeon is an old friend and he’s amazing, so I’m in good hands. It’s just the idea of facing that fear that’s pretty much broken me.

I spoke at length with our family therapist this week and I’ve come to a realization. It doesn’t make me happy to admit this but right now, I’m not happy anyway.

As it stands, I’m simply not winning my longstanding war with depression. In fact, it’s getting so bad that I’m just not coping with anything. I know that a large part of this is my pending surgery but truthfully, it will be something else later.

My life is chronically stressful. I’m talking seriously, seriously stressful and that’s not likely to change anytime soon, if ever.

I cope really well until I don’t and then I simply begin to crumble. There’s no way to predict where my upper limit is but I seem to continuously keep hitting it and that’s not okay.

I’m so overwhelmed that I almost can’t function and that’s a major problem because so many people are relying on me. As it is, Friday is like a wall and I can’t see anything passed it. I know life continues on the other side but I can’t see it right now and that scares me.

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

This Post Has 51 Comments

  1. Heather

    Rob! Please don’t give into it! I don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes, but as a fellow autism parent & blogger I can relate. Some days I feel like I can take on the world & then next thing you know I’m cleaning up an epic disaster at home & boom-I’m down again. My only advice to you is to continue to seek help. Family therapists are fab, but for depression you need to see a shrink. (I do & I’m not ashamed to admit it:)) Also, be aware that some (maybe all) pain meds that you may receive for your surgery will bring you down. Or UP then back down. Mood Swing Style. Not at all suggesting that you skip the meds…if they prescribe them then you need them…just know they can affect your depression!:) Best of Luck! I’m pulling for you.

    1. Rob Gorski

      Thanks Heather.. Great to hear from you. I do see a psychologist but my PCP manages my meds. We have a serious shortage of psychiatrists in our area. I’m in good hands when I need help. Your advice is well received and much appreciated.. ☺ Hope all is well on your end…

  2. AJL

    But i don’t understand why i’m depressed.

  3. S

    You need to see your doctor definitely and a therapist. Things really aren’t as bad as it may feel. I totally get worrying about being there for your child. I too worry. You have many people there for you, lean on them. I really hope things get better for you!

  4. Jonathan

    ❤️ I’m here for ya man. I have been fighting a daily battle with severe depression for almost 14 years

  5. Diane

    Thinking of you and praying for you.

  6. Annette Montez Kolda

    Please get some tangible support to help you with your daily struggles. You can do this ❤️

  7. TJB

    You are not alone. There are times our fears own us. Please do not let the depression win — not for… https://t.co/JhE8YcktSn

  8. Sarah

    I am sorry for how you are feeling….I have severe depression and anxiety and ADD and “possibly a bipolar trait.” I’m 46 and 4 months ago, I think we have finally gotten my meds down so that I don’t find myself at times feeling like i’m about to fall off a ledge. What helped me was finally finding a GOOD psychiatrist. he also has a son with Autism (I have 3 sons, two with autism, all three with anxiety) so he can identify with me with regards to how challenging and emotionally draining it can be. Additionally, I have been in recovery for alcoholism for 7 years. Sobriety has helped my depression and anxiety.
    For me, all things mentioned are what help me stay stable emotionally and psychologically.
    I hope you can find some long term relief from the downs……I know it sucks. hang in there!

  9. Melissa

    I can relate to a LOT of whar you just said. Remember that you are not alone.

  10. Jenny Herman

    You are absolutely right. Taking care of yourself helps you take better care of them.

    It’s ok to take a break. I’ve found when there’s something major, sometimes you just have to ride the wave so to speak and be ok with not doing more than survival. Sometimes it seems like survival mode never ends. I don’t know if this will help you. In my experience, focusing on my breathing can help me calm. And if that’s all you do today to get to your big day tomorrow, that’s ok.

    I also remind myself God is bigger than my stressful life. I will pray for strength for you to make it through today.

  11. M

    Reach out to someone you trust. Sharing extreme feelings, good or bad, helps you to ease the burden… https://t.co/pHGQrkY6wC

  12. Judi Laplante

    Retweeting is not getting help. Do you have a therapist you can contact?

Join The Conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.