After all the years of living our lives around Gavin needs I can't help but wonder if we are doing the right thing.

To this point we generally know we are being effective because he gets pissed off at us. He's never sorry he did it he is only sorry and pissed off he got caught.

Gavin doesn't retain much so we are constantly having to repeat ourselves. For example, I will ask Gavin to go get his shoes on or get something from his room. When I finally get his attention he goes up the stairs and comes right back down. The problem lies in the fact that all he did was go up stairs and come right back down having down nothing.

No matter how much we love him this gets so old. It happens every time and with everything. The truly difficult part for me is that sometimes he does it on purpose and sometimes he doesn't. We have to do our best to interpret the situation every time.

In order to give him the best chance at life he has to be held accountable for his actions. He has to memorize right from wrong because he has no inner compass to guide him and probably never will. It goes back to the whole no conscience thing. How do you truly know where he is coming from and what his motives are. All we can do is guess and use the skills we have learned over the years to decode his actions.

We meet with Patti tonight to discuss the sexual aggression. Patti is Gavin's therapist. She's amazing with him. I think my wife and I will go alone tonight in order to discuss where we go from here.

Lost and Tired

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