Today proved to be tough for a few reasons. While the car was made drivable, my concern proved to be correct in regards to whether or not the car was worth it to fix. Turns out the needed repairs just aren’t worth it.

We got the front brakes and rotors replaced because my brother is awesome, but sooner than later, the other issues will become more problematic.

What does this mean? Well, we will be able to make it to the Cleveland Clinic in the morning for Gavin’s EEG. That’s a huge positive for us because we worry so much about Gavin.

This also means that we are in need of a new car. That presents quite a few problems, the biggest of which is that we can’t possibly afford one at this point. We’re doing better financially but not enough to pull something like that off.

Frankly, even if the car wasn’t this messed up, the boys are quickly running out of room in the back seat. This was going to become a problem eventually anyway, I was just hoping we had more time.

What we need is a minivan again. Our trip to Florida proved that a minivan was a really good fit.

You may or may not remember, but we’ve had a run of bad luck in regards to cars over the years. I had bought a nice minivan but immediately ended up dumping about $8,000 in repairs within the first 6 months. I was still in the process of paying off the rest of the repair bills when the unthinkable happened. The van was stolen, from right out in front of me, as I was walking out to take the boys to school. Thank God they weren’t in it yet but they saw the whole thing happen from the window.

We lost everything plus still owed for the repairs on our newly totalled van, and it was right before Christmas.

We got a small settlement from insurance but not nearly enough for a down payment on a new one. I had to sink every dime I had into a new van and by some miracle, I was able to finance it. It was perfect and life was good until I got behind on the payments.

I wasn’t in a position to take on a car payment but at that time, Gavin was still in really bad shape health-wise and we need to be able to get him to and from the Cleveland Clinic, several times a month, not to mention all the trips to Akron Children’s Hospital.

We ended up losing the van to repossession and that hit us hard.

We never should have been in that situation in the first place but two assholes were tasked with stealing a car in order to get into a local gang, and they picked our car to steal.

I did the best I could but in the end, it wasn’t enough and that’s on me. I totally own that.

After that, my parents found themselves in a position where they were able to gift us the car we have now. It’s been a total blessing and we are so grateful for my parents generosity. We’re also very thankful that it’s gotten us this far and hopefully it will get us just a little farther.

That leads us to where we are today. We’re going to be needing a new car and I haven’t the foggiest idea how I’m going to pull that off.

For right now, I’m grateful that it’s still working and that it still has some life left in it. How much life does it have left? I honestly don’t know but I need to begin preparing for the inevitable day where the car is no longer safe to drive or it simply doesn’t drive.

That’s sorta the tone my day took. Between that and our ridiculous mortgage company, continuing to create problems for us, I’m feeling the strain.

My goal is to stay positive because being held down by the negative isn’t going to help anyone or solve any of our problems. For now, I just want to get through Christmas because that’s already stressful enough. ☺