We had a morning full of preteen drama and little brother button pushing. This isn’t uncommon when it comes to brothers. Brothers were created to get on each other’s nerves. That’s where the normalcy stops and the Autism/anxiety/emotional delays complicate things.
While these guys pick on each other like typical brothers, their reactions to being picked on are rather extreme.
The boys are brilliant kids and for the most part, not very socially awkward. At the same time however, they are some significant emotional delays that make dealing with stressful or emotionally charged situations, very difficult for them.
They tend to take things very personally and don’t get sarcasm, even though they can be sarcastic themselves.
Emmett might be trying to pay Elliott a compliment but Elliott takes it wrong and there’s nothing anyone can do to unring that bell. Emmett’s the same way and once they feel that way, there’s no convincing him that Elliott didn’t mean it the way he took it.
Part of the problem is that they both are very literal thinkers, Emmett more so than Elliott though. If you tell Emmett that you’ll be back in a minute, he will give you 60 seconds and then expect you to be back. I have to very careful with my word choices and be very specific or else it won’t end well for me.
We’ve been working on this for years and there isn’t really much we can do because they are hardwired differently. That doesn’t mean we don’t continue trying to explain that many things are meant to be taken literally. They work on this in occupational therapy as well. I know that sounds weird but they do, or at least did.
This is something that will hopefully get better with age. Lizze is the same way but she also understands that she doesn’t always take things the way they were intended to be taken.
I’ve spoken with many Adult Autistics and the general consensus is that this can improve with age, maturity and experience.
Social Stories are another tool we can utilize to help them strengthen this area of their lives.
As for this morning, it sucked and it began at 4:30 AM because they woke up, unable to fall back asleep. They did get off to school on time and left the car in a good mood. At least there’s that.
Now you’ve piqued my curiosity… what types of things does Elliott say that make you want to crawl under a rock, lol?
lol… He has no sense of what shouldn’t be said in the public arena. We’re at the doctors office, having his meds refilled and he blurts out, “you should smell my Dad’s farts”.
OMG, the things Gavin used to say in public. I remember having company over and Gavin comes down the stairs and announces that he was rubbing his penis on Grandma’s bed post”.. Things like that….
I’m curious how you know that they’re not socially awkward. Are you counting how they interact with family? I only ask because I’ve been reading your blog for years and there has only ever been one play date with friends from school, so it would be hard to know if they are awkward or not because you don’t see them with their peers. I know this might be coming across harshly and it’s not intended to, I am genuinely curious how you came to know how they interact with people outside your family or Dr. Pattie.
That’s a good question Kim. That’s a really good question.
They don’t do play dates but they play with other kids on the playground, as well as at school. We’ve had many opportunities to observe them with their friends at school.
Having said that, you’ve got me thinking now. Would I even really be the best judge of their social awkwardness? I’m so used to who they and how they communicate, it’s normal to me.
I don’t think either of the boys are significantly socially awkward but their peers at school are in the same boat and might not be the best situation to judge social awkwardness.
When it comes to Gavin, it’s painfully obvious that he’s socially awkward. There’s no way to not see that. This could be another reason the boys seem social appreciate because compared to Gavin, they are.
All of the kids are very polite and respectful in public but Elliott says things sometimes that makes me want to hide under a rock.
I’m going to ask about this tonight.
It didn’t come across harshly at all.
Let me add this to my previous comment. When Elliott was first believed to be on the Autism Spectrum, I just didn’t see it. I was used to how Autism impacted Gavin’s life and Elliott wasn’t anything like that.
It wasn’t until we were at preschool orientation with Elliott, that it became obvious that he was different. It hit me so hard that I had to excuse myself, go outside and cry.
I’m wondering if this same principle would apply to me being able to see social awareness. Does that make sense?
Now you’ve piqued my curiosity… what types of things does Elliott say that make you want to crawl under a rock, lol?
lol… He has no sense of what shouldn’t be said in the public arena. We’re at the doctors office, having his meds refilled and he blurts out, “you should smell my Dad’s farts”.
OMG, the things Gavin used to say in public. I remember having company over and Gavin comes down the stairs and announces that he was rubbing his penis on Grandma’s bed post”.. Things like that….
I’m curious how you know that they’re not socially awkward. Are you counting how they interact with family? I only ask because I’ve been reading your blog for years and there has only ever been one play date with friends from school, so it would be hard to know if they are awkward or not because you don’t see them with their peers. I know this might be coming across harshly and it’s not intended to, I am genuinely curious how you came to know how they interact with people outside your family or Dr. Pattie.
That’s a good question Kim. That’s a really good question.
They don’t do play dates but they play with other kids on the playground, as well as at school. We’ve had many opportunities to observe them with their friends at school.
Having said that, you’ve got me thinking now. Would I even really be the best judge of their social awkwardness? I’m so used to who they and how they communicate, it’s normal to me.
I don’t think either of the boys are significantly socially awkward but their peers at school are in the same boat and might not be the best situation to judge social awkwardness.
When it comes to Gavin, it’s painfully obvious that he’s socially awkward. There’s no way to not see that. This could be another reason the boys seem social appreciate because compared to Gavin, they are.
All of the kids are very polite and respectful in public but Elliott says things sometimes that makes me want to hide under a rock.
I’m going to ask about this tonight.
It didn’t come across harshly at all.
Let me add this to my previous comment. When Elliott was first believed to be on the Autism Spectrum, I just didn’t see it. I was used to how Autism impacted Gavin’s life and Elliott wasn’t anything like that.
It wasn’t until we were at preschool orientation with Elliott, that it became obvious that he was different. It hit me so hard that I had to excuse myself, go outside and cry.
I’m wondering if this same principle would apply to me being able to see social awareness. Does that make sense?