I just wanted to touch on this briefly once again because there seems to be a little confusion surrounding the purpose of this site.
The purpose of this site to help raise awareness for things like Autism, ADHD, fragile health, mental illness, depression, single parenting and special needs parenting in general.
When I write here, it’s meant to help you better understand what the lives of my kids is like. It’s meant to help people become more aware of what my life is like and subsequently apply what they’ve learned to their own lives.
I write to this blog as though I’m writing in a private journal.
One of my goals here is to make sure that people going through something similar, know that there’s at least one person out there who gets it.
That provides people with a sense of comfort.
Sometimes people read this blog and either don’t have the backstory or jump to conclusions that I’m just complaining or I don’t know what I’m doing becaue it makes no sense to them.
Please keep a few things in mind when reading this blog.
1) No one’s making you read it. If you don’t like it, move along.
2) I know my kids better than anyone else on the planet does. While our kids may share the same diagnosis, that may literally be all they have in common.
3) Simply because your child on the spectrum responds to something, doesn’t mean that mine or anyone else’s will. Everyone’s different and kids on the spectrum are no different.
4) I’m not telling you what to do and likely never will. I simply but my personal experience out there. Maybe it helps someone and maybe it doesn’t.
5) While my story may seem difficult to believe, I’ve been vetted many times over the years and been honored with many awards for what I do and how I do it. Simply because it seems like you’re experience as a parent or special needs parent is different than mine, doesn’t mean that what I’m saying is untrue.
6) The reasons that my wife left are still much of a mystery to me. I don’t agree with her logic and frankly don’t believe much of what she has to say. I certainly don’t condone her actions or her lack of involvement in her kids lives. That being said, her decisions are hers and hers alone. It’s not my story to tell and no matter what, she’s still the mother of my children and that commands a certain level of respect. All I can do is be there for my kids, encourage/foster a healthy relationship between them and their Mom and shield them from knowing anything more than they need to at this age.
7) Please keeps things in perspective. I’m a single Dad, going through a divorce. I’m raising three kids with very challenging special needs and I’m doing so on my own, with very little help. This means that it would be unrealistic of anyone to expect perfection. Before you judge me or anyone else walking a similar path, I caution you about making assumptions without having first hand knowledge and experience dealing with at least a fraction of what myself or anyone else is dealing with.
8) Finally, this site provides a service to people all over the globe. The Autism Dad Blog has only been around since August of this year. My previous endeavors were called Lost and Tired but that has since been retired as a means of gaining closure after my wife left. The Autism Dad is my new journey and the stories of a newly single Dad raising 3 special needs kids on his own, while trying to put his life back together after having it shattered by the person he trusted most.
I ask that you please keep these things in mind when reading anything here.
I love feedback but really appreciate a tactful and respectful approach. I’m under a great deal of pressure and I’m almost always managing one crisis or another. A tactful approach comes across much better to me. ☺
This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 5. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉
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I think it’s very decent of you to try to maintain a good relationship with Lizze and try to make sure the kids have a relationship with her, even though you must be so angry and hurt still. So many times divorcing parents will try to sabotage their children’s relationship with the other parent and that doesn’t do anyone any favors — unless, of course, the other parent is abusive or something.
On my Charley Project website I’ve written about a lot of “family abductions” which usually involves one parent taking the kid and going on the run, in violation of the other parent’s custodial rights. They hardly ever do it because they think they can give the child a better life; they do it to spite their ex. And the children suffer horribly as a result. I know of cases where children who were abducted did not get any education or medical care and what have you and were basically kept prisoner in an apartment or something for years on end.
I’m rambling here — my point is, I think you’re doing the best you can and you’re doing a remarkably good job under the circumstances.
Thanks Meg… I truly appreciate your support and kind words..
That’s a great question. Gavin is Lizze’s son from her first marriage. I’ve raised him since he was about 1.5 years old..
I have a question & I understand if you don’t want to answer. You said you adopted Gavin, so is his mom his bio mom or did you both adopt Gavin?
I think it’s very decent of you to try to maintain a good relationship with Lizze and try to make sure the kids have a relationship with her, even though you must be so angry and hurt still. So many times divorcing parents will try to sabotage their children’s relationship with the other parent and that doesn’t do anyone any favors — unless, of course, the other parent is abusive or something.
On my Charley Project website I’ve written about a lot of “family abductions” which usually involves one parent taking the kid and going on the run, in violation of the other parent’s custodial rights. They hardly ever do it because they think they can give the child a better life; they do it to spite their ex. And the children suffer horribly as a result. I know of cases where children who were abducted did not get any education or medical care and what have you and were basically kept prisoner in an apartment or something for years on end.
I’m rambling here — my point is, I think you’re doing the best you can and you’re doing a remarkably good job under the circumstances.
Thanks Meg… I truly appreciate your support and kind words..