I’ve been a parent to an autistic child for about 9 years. I’ve been through it all before so I should know what to expect but I don’t.

For some reason it feels like the first time again. All the uncertainty, fear and feelings of guilt have all come back. I wonder what I did wrong. I ask myself what I should have done differently.

I have also begun bargaining with God. Later the anger with God will kick in for what is happening to Emmett John. The fear of whether or not it is regressive like Gavin’s is smacking me in the face.

LT