I’m going to be pretty focused on Gavin for the immediate future because I’m really struggling with this. I only know of two or three other people that are raising a sociopathic child or one with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I don’t believe there are many of us out there. There’s not a lot of support to be found.
My personal struggle with this stems from not wanting to believe that this is true.
I need to believe that everyone is wrong about him and he’s just misunderstood. It absolutely kills me to know that Gavin is a sociopath. It breaks my heart to know that despite all our efforts to nurture and love him, it wasn’t enough to overcome nature.
There’s no real chance for a positive outcome because you can’t fix this kind of broken.
It’s not that sociopath’s are inherently evil. It just that they tend to leave a wake of victims because they simply don’t feel remorse or a sense of responsibility for their actions…. There is one moral compass to guide them through life because they have no conscience. This is what can and in Gavin’s case often does lead to problems.
We live every single day in a state of exhaustive hypevigilance because if we don’t, he will perceive that as a weakness that can be exploited.
It’s so difficult for me to accept that he is who he is. We tried so hard to show him the right path. We loved him so much and if feels like he has turned on us.
I feel betrayed….
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Does this replace the reactive attachment disorder diagnosis?
That’s a good question and I honestly don’t know the answer. My understanding is that they are on the same Spectrum.
It goes something good like this…
Oppositional defiance – – – conduct disorder – – – – Reactive Attachment Disorder- – – – Antisocial Personality Disorder aka sociopath aka psychopath
As I understand it, it will officially remain Reactive Attachment Disorder until his 18th birthday. It will then be documented as sociopath….
I need to find out for sure about that because I honestly don’t know. It didn’t occur to me to ask at the time. I was not in a really good place…
Well you’ve got the “brilliant” opinion of “Annoyed”. So there’s that. Wish I was as “encouraging” or as “uplifting” as Annoyed. Unfortunately, all I can do is be me. 🙂 I’ve had the day from hell. I have a child that is difficult beyond belief. And “Annoyed” would be so thrilled to know that I truly do ‘wallow’ in it. Because I’m so depressed, I can’t even get out of my own way. And yet, at the end of the day . . . I think of your family. I’m shaking my head right now. I don’t even know what to say to you. Because you’re struggling with issues I can’t even begin to comprehend. As usual, every time I try to type a sentence, I’m interrupted by Jack. Because he “needs” something; chips, water, milk, a Rice Krispies Treat, a diaper, a shower, SOMETHING. So it’s taking me a million years to type this. And today has just absolutely ruined me because EVERYTHING keeps breaking. Jack’s sinus rinse machine decided it was no longer going to work. PERFECT timing. Considering he’s fighting off yet another sinus infection right now. Our brand-spanking-new carpet cleaner purchased on eBay last week? DOESN’T WORK. So now we have to pay to have it fixed (Thankfully, the company we purchased it from on eBay will reimburse us for the repairs, since it was supposed to work perfectly. Yeah, welcome to our world. NOTHING works perfectly in our world. In fact, nothing works in our world, PERIOD.) My life is HELL. And yet, at the end of the day? I think of your family. I cry. I feel sorry for myself. And then I think of your family. Hang in there. Because those of us who are struggling? Yeah, we know you’re struggling even more. 🙁
Tammy I feel the same way when my life acts like it is “hell in a hand basket”. i dont have it as bad as you or rob and i am grateful and i am glad you posted so i could tell you that there is another real person out here struggling and i “use” Rob and Lizzie’s family to help pick me up off the floor sometimes when life has me down on my knees. Rob let’s me bitch on here all the time about my life making me crazy. I cried off and on all day the other day because I felt like someone was purposely trying to make my life harder for whatever reason. It was just adding not only another trauma to MY ptsd but also ONE more thing i was going to have to deal with which included three phone calls and two trips to get it straigtened out and i just lost it. I eventually sucked it up as I know even though it was terrible, i got it handled, and there are situations out there that are way worse than mine. Tammy you are in my thoughts and prayers since you wrote this and will be from now on – Happy Mother’s Day (that seems weird to say in our situations but we love our kids)
Sounds to me like you are loving it…. Wallowing in it, even.
Thank you for sharing your opinion… 🙂
Annoyed–are you single? (Wait, OF COURSE YOU ARE) We should tooooootally hook up. Because you seem like the most understanding, compassionate person in the universe! Let’s make us some babies!!!
Annoyed, you give new meaning to the word callous.