You are never a burden

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  • Post last modified:November 6, 2013

This is something that I’ve never talked about before.  It’s something that is very personal but important to put out there nonetheless. 

While this is directed more at my wife than my children, it will one day be applicable to them and I want my feelings on the record. 

Lizze feels like she is a burden to me and by extension, the boys. I wanted to put this in writing because I hope it will convey my feelings better than my words could. 

You are not a burden

Being a special needs parent is never easy, at least in my experience.  It may be easy to get frustrated. It’s may be easy to become overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation as well.  It may be easy to feel like I can’t go another step because I’m so completely exhausted, in every possible sense of the word. It may even be easy for me to lose my patience at times.  These things are all true. 

However, it’s important that you understand and mean truly understand what I’m about to tell you. 

It’s also easy to love you.

Despite how complicated and difficult life can be as a result of your personal challenges, be it health related or anything else for that matter, you are not a burden to me.

I know how guilty you feel about everything that you have going on with your health or emotional wellbeing and the impact that it has on me personally, and the rest of our family. While it’s true that your situation presents certain challenges, burden is never a word that has entered my mind. 

We’re family.  We’re best friends and partners in life.  I don’t always handle things with grace and I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure but that’s a reflection on me for being human.  None of this is your fault and I know that if you could change things you would. 

Please don’t think you are a burden.

The same goes for our amazing beautiful but always challenging kids with Autism.  None of you have ever, ever been a burden.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s an honor and privilege to be your father. 

All of you have had such a tremendously positive impact on my life.  The least I can do is to be by your side through the tough  and challenging parts of life.  I know that the challenge seems like a constant and it really is.  However, so am I.

No one should ever have to feel like a burden.  When you love someone, you love them in their entirety.  You graciously take on the bad and you welcome all the good. 

Nothing worth having ever comes easy and it really shouldn’t.

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Lost and Tired

rjones22 KyahJ OnyxPanthyr I really appreciate all the kind words but Im the lucky one, trust me on that. My kids are amazing and Lizze pushes through each and every day with courage and grace.

KyahJ

Rob, you are a wonderful husband and father. You are truthful with your feelings and always sincere. Lizze, you are profoundly lucky to have him in your life and the boys are blessed to have him as their father. I can only pray that I find such a patient, caring and loving man as Rob some day [whom will put up with me].
All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Kyah

rjones22

beautifully written and i am sure said. lizzie take him on face value for that. He has stayed this long (gladly I think) and I really don’t think he is going anywhere.  Even though life is hard (talk to anybody and they have a story) from what I have read he is in for the long haul. He is a “fixer” so that is why I think he tries so hard and takes it all personally. He should as he is your husband and the father of all of your children. but go ahead and thank God he is there and run with that. their are too many spouses that got out long before this amount of time (my 2nd and last husband lasted 4 months with only my one sick kid and a dog!) Just love him back, as I am sure you do and rest knowing that your health WILL come back. yall have a long life ahead and you will have time to carry more.

OnyxPanthyr

This is beautiful.  🙂  You’ve got a great guy there, Lizze.  Hold on to him; they’re rare to find.  🙂