How many of you have had your relationships with others affected by Autism? I know how stressful raising 3 children with Autism is for me and my marriage is not exempt from feeling that strain.
Lizze and I don’t always get along.
In fact, the strain, stress and constant sleep deprivation has taken its toll on our marriage. We love each other and will be celebrating our 10th anniversary in a little over a month, but to say that our marriage hasn’t been impacted would not be true.
We’ve lost touch with friends and family as well. I would even go so far as to say that some relationships simply were not strong enough to weather the special needs Autism journey.
Lizze and I both have been unfriended on Facebook by family members and friends alike, because our lives are too depressing.
I don’t personally care about the Facebook thing because to me, that’s petty and I have bigger things to worry about.
Having said that, it does send a very clear message and certainly goes a long way towards that feeling of isolation that so many of us feel.
This is such an important topic because so many people are affected by this. So many people feel isolated and alone, even unloved. When you are faced with the challenging task of raising a special needs child, the whole it takes a village thing, takes on new meaning.
I was hoping that you would be willing to share your experience in this area. Have your relationships suffered as a result being a special needs parent?
It’s important to also note that this is not by any means the fault of a special needs child. I’m not blaming my kids for anything. I’m simply creating dialogue about the unfortunate collateral damage.
This site is managed almost exclusively via WordPress for Android. Please forgive any typos as autocorrect HATES me. 😉
Visit the My Autism Help Forums
To reach me via email, please Contact Me
I am single and its unlikely to change as I do not have the free time to date, men do not want a woman with no time to give them. They don’t want to take on a child with a disability either. I’ve lost so called friends and family and am very isolated. Just trying to make the best of caring for my nt 13 yo + autisic 4 yo sons alone. It’s not easy.
My wife and I both have lost friends, as a result of being parents of two children on the Autism Spectrum. The good thing is with each friend we lost, we gain more meaningful friendships in exchange. I cannot say it has been an easy road and there is an large amount of stress within our marriage; The good thing is my wife and I have the same attitude. We take it for what it is, accept the challenge and move on. At first it was very hard, but in some ways it brought us closer together. We finally grew up and knew where our values needed to be, even if it meant removing certain people from our lives. We are very happy being parents and advocates for children with Autism.
I’m not a special needs parent, but I am a special needs person and my sensory integration issues make sex not impossible, but agonizing for me. That’s DEFINITELY impacted my relationship with my boyfriend and nearly destroyed it. The very fact that he stays with me when I have this problem is in itself proof of how much he loves me.
Meaghan1985 good for you. I’m glad you two found each other. You deserve to be happy and loved. My wife and I shouldn’t work. We always joke about how no one would have ever put us together. That said, somehow we make it work. We’re Best friends and I couldn’t imagine doing this journey with anyone else else.
I’m so happy for you…..
I’ve read many of your blogs and I think that anyone who has unfriended because of what you write is thoughtless and cruel. People were much happier before Facebook and Myspace. All people like to on those sites is brag about how wonderful their lives are and God forbid they have to read about one of their friends who is having a hard time.
Dwayne Murphy Thank you. If you really think about it, we assign way to much weight to things like friending or unfriending.
Well said my friend. 🙂
I can comment from experience on this with relationships. The story is way too long but as a result of our differing opinions on how to raise our son with autism, I left — almost three years ago. It was the correct decision then and now. I tell people that the reason I left had 95% to do with the way we differed on raising our son. It’s pretty much true. I have full custody-legal and physical of him which is what I wanted. And, my daughter is resentful as to how much his “needs” occupy my time. I don’t go out because I do not have enough money to pay someone to watch him so no girl time. So, to sum it up in those few words – Yes, it has affected my relationships and work, and ………
eeyorekitty88 thanks for sharing. Kudos to you for sticking to your guns. I wish people understood how all encompassing this is. There isn’t an area of life that isn’t impacted.
My best wishes to you and your family.