It’s been a really long time since I’ve updated all of you as to how my personal battle with depression is going.  The only way to sum it up for you is like this. It could be better but could also be worse. 

I’ve been battling with depression for about 2 decades.  When I say it like that, I feel really old.

Currently, I’m taking Paxil and have been for almost 2 years now.  It’s made a difference, in the sense that I don’t perseverate on things like I used to and I’m generally a happy guy.

The downside is that I did experience weight gain and while I can’t place all of the blame on the Paxil, it certainly has contributed in that area.

It’s sort of a trade off, really.

I would rather be heavier and happier than lighter and listless.

I can lose the weight by making better choices and working hard.  However, if I’m depressed, I can’t just make myself happy.  That’s simply not how it works.

Here’s the thing about me.  I kinda march to the beat of my own drum.  You can probably tell that just by reading this blog.  I tend not to follow the crowd and I like to make my own way.

Having said that, when it comes to something like depression, I can’t just will my way out of it.

Trying to be positive makes no difference whatsoever and fighting depression only seems to make it worse.  I liken depression to a Chinese finger trap.  The harder you fight it, the harder you try to pull away, the tighter it grips you.

Depression is one of those things that I’ve had to sorta embrace, accept and simply get help for.  I had to recognize that I needed help in the first place and then be willing to accept the help being offered.

There is a huge stigma surrounding depression and that something I find sad.

Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.  It’s outside of one’s control and it’s not a reflection of how strong or weak a person is.  In fact, I would argue that it takes an incredibly strong and courageous person to recognize that they need help and them seek it out.

If you are suffering from depression, please know that there’s at least one person out there that understands and I’m always here.  All you have to do is shoot me an email……….

Never be afraid or feel ashamed that you suffer from depression.  There is help out there and a way through the fog of sadness that depression can bring into your life.

Have in there. That’s what I’m trying to do.

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